“Estrus,” I whisper. “Maybe. Yes.” It’s an incoherent explanation. One I’m not even sure is right. This isn’t how my heat usually starts. It’s gradual, like a wave of warmth that spreads from between my legs to all my nerve endings.
This is all-encompassing instead.
Sudden.
Insane.
“Estrus?” he repeats, frowning down at me. “You’re going into heat?”
I nod.
Then shake my head.
Tears pool in my eyes, confusion flooding my mind. “I don’t… I don’t know.” And I hate it. I hate this. I hate feeling helpless. Hot.Out of my mind.
That’s what reminds me of my estrus—the lack of control. It’s always like this, causing me to lose sight of who I am deep inside. Temporarily, yes. But I loathe the vulnerability associated with losing my self-restraint.
“Help me,” I beg Lazarus, aware deep within how dangerous it is to ask this of him. But I don’t know what else to do.
I ran.
He followed.
And now I just… I just want to feel normal again.Like me.
“I don’t think you’re going into heat,” Lazarus murmurs, one of his hands lifting to cup my cheek. “But I’ll help you.” He leans down to brush his nose against mine. “We’re going to take a shower, okay? Together. And I promise not to hurt you or take advantage of you.”
I nod, accepting whatever he wants to do to me so long as it helps. “Anything.”
“Not anything,” he corrects me, a note of sternness underlying his tone. “I’m just going to take care of you, Aurora. Nothing more. Tell me you understand.”
“I understand,” I repeat immediately. Not because I really do, but because I want to obey him. To submit. To do whatever he desires.
For whatever reason, that makes him frown at me.
I don’t like that.
I want to please him.
To make him want me.
Which, of course, inspires more stupid tears.Ugh, I hate this!
“Shh,” he hushes, gathering me into his arms and carrying me. “I’ve got you, omega. You’re safe with me.”
I’m not.
I know I’m not.
But I don’t have the energy to say so. Instead, I just bury my face in his neck, inhaling his decadent scent. “You smell so good,” I tell him, my tongue sneaking out to lick his skin. It’s not as sweet as his aroma suggests, the slightly salty flavor surprising me.
He tastes like a man.
An alpha.
My alpha.
I nuzzle him again, laving him once more and groaning as slick pools between my thighs.
