He nods. I nudge him with my foot to gain his attention. I don’t say anything, but since we’ve spent so much of our friendship in comfortable silence, he understands I’m here for him.
“I don’t want to get traded!” Gus blurts out, pulling everyone’s attention to him. “It’s taken me so long to find a team I’m good with, and I think I’d rather retire than lose it. Every time the window opens, it’s like I can’t breathe until the deadline passes.”
“I barely know anything, but evenIknow that’s highly unlikely. Cal would be crazy to agree to a trade.” It’s Bea who reaches over Maeve to hold Gus’ hand. “Your chemistry is too good to mess with.”
Gus gives her a watery smile.
“I don’t like mascots,” Leo says before hiding behind a drink of coffee. “You know, the ones in fuzzy suits that look like overgrown stuffed animals? I nearly shit my pants the first time I went to Disney and saw Mickey Mouse. Terrifying.” He shudders. “The Midnight doesn’t have one, so when the offer came through to play here, that’s why I picked it.”
The room goes quiet again, only this time with a lighter silence. A brittle one that cracks when Violet snorts and promptly buries her face in Crosby’s chest to hide the giggle tumbling free. Bea’s throaty guffaw sounds from behind me, low and gentle before she, too, unfolds in a cascade of tittering. Leo’s eyes widen as more sounds erupt around him, but he grins and begins to chuckle, too.
As the laughter bubbles up in my chest, booming into the cacophony, I feel lighter. Freer. The sound reaches a naturalcrescendo, pitching and falling with wheezing exhaustion before it peters into nothing.
I confessed my fear to the people who know me best. And they responded with love, compassion, and secrets of their own. Warmth and connection seem to weave through everyone, and I know this is a night none of us will forget.
CHAPTER 29
BEA
“Natalia! Time to go!” I call up the stairs, checking the contents of her backpack one more time. The lunch she helped me pack last night, the snacks for morning and afternoon breaks, a refillable water bottle, a floppy sun hat, and sunscreen are all accounted for. I zip the pack closed with a special new keychain—an acrylic pink bunny—before setting it aside.
“Coming!”
Nat bounds down the stairs at the same time as her announcement, leaping from the last one into my arms. I swing her around once and settle her on my hip, peppering her face and neck with obnoxiously exaggerated kisses. She giggles and squirms in my hold, so I double down in my attack.
“Mamochka!”she squeals, and I stop, my heart filling with wonder every time I hear Natalia call me that. The frequency has increased now that school is over and the three of us are spending more time together.As a family.
“Ready to go to camp?” I ask after pulling back and gentling my affection. Nat tries to bounce in my arms, and I laugh. Nicky wanted to come with me for drop-off, but had a therapy session with Adam he couldn’t reschedule. “I’ll take that as a yes!”
After setting her on her feet, she picks up the backpack without instruction, and we make our way to the garage. For the first time, Natalia is going to a day camp at a nearby country club. She made friends this school year with children who were attending, and after speaking with the other parents, it sounded like a good fit for our girl.
Our girl.
Nicky and I made the decision for her to go together. Worrying over the parts we couldn’t control, checking in with Nat’s therapist, and having conversations with Natalia. I know not every part of parenting is going to be so easy, but I also know I have Nicky to do it with. A partner to share the responsibility with, and it felt like the final piece of my puzzle locked into place.
After getting Natalia checked in and watching her float through the doors with her friends to the counselors, I crank up the music in my car. I’m making the drive to The Midnight facility as an employee for the last time. Nerves flutter through me, but they lean toward excitement and possibility, not dread and doom.
As Natalia finished her school year, I scheduled a meeting with Ava and provided my notice. Ava was nothing but supportive and happy for me. We’ve spent the last two weeks transitioning over my tasks and delegating anything remaining. Today, I’ll sign all of my off-boarding paperwork with Human Resources and clean out any personal things from my office.
“Good morning!” Violet chirps as I walk through the doors of the building I’ve spent more than a year in. She links arms with me, and I turn us toward the lifts.
“Hello, Petal,” I greet in return. Violet suddenly steers us away from the metal doors to the hallway that leads to the team area. I needle at her, “My office is on the third floor. Has a window.”
“I know where your office is. I was there yesterday for lunch, remember?” Violet sasses. She swipes her access card from her hip on the keypad. The light turns green, and she opens the door, pulling me after her.
“It’s notmymemory that apparently is of concern right now,” I say, letting her drag me down the hall a little farther. But when she doesn’t respond, I dig my heels in. “What is going on?”
“Can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.” Violet shrugs, pulling harder on my arm until I budge. I don’t make it easy, but I’m intrigued, so I relent just as Gus pops out from a doorway.
“Oh no,” I groan, all curiosity fleeing at the smile spreading on his face.
“Live a little, Beatie. I promise, it will be fun if you trust us.” He holds out a blindfold, giving me a choice. I look at it, at him, and finally over at Violet. She claps her hands together in a silent pleading motion, and I look to the ceiling before releasing a suffering sigh.
“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”
Gus gives a leaping wiggle of excitement before coming around and carefully tying the blindfold over my eyes. He takes up one side, looping my arm through his before Violet resumes her post on the other.
“If I end up falling on my face, I’m never going to forgive either of you. Nicky and I have dinner plans tonight, and I’d rather not have a goose-egg bruise on my forehead.” Every step is hesitant, even though I’ve walked these halls a thousand times before. But through opening and closing doors, leading me deeper into the facility, my friends never let my progress falter. The temperature shifts, becoming significantly colder, and wepause. I know we’re getting close to the rink, and someone helps me thread my arms through a fleece jacket, zippering me into it with care.
