“It was your moment, man,” Leo whines from his locker seat. “I can’t believe you let her walk out of the elevator!”
“Just becausesomepeople can only think with their dick, doesn’t mean everyone does,” Charlie corrects next to him. “If it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right. Better to wait and make it worth it than rush and regret it. You only get one first kiss with someone.”
“Why do we call you Bones? Should have named you fucking Yoda.” Leo laughs. “Or maybe Romeo for how hopelessly romantic that was.” He returns to getting dressed. I’m still wrapped in a towel after showering, sitting on my bench seat, listening to my teammates dissect the almost-kiss in Tampa.
It’s been over a week, and things with Bea have been more awkward than I would like. The crew hasn’t been around to film, so Bea has kept to texts to update me. I know she has other responsibilities that extend beyond supervising the documentary, but it hurts to have her so far away. Physically andemotionally. I don’t like the negative thoughts that none of our connection is real—it’s just for the benefit of the documentary. Watching her walk down the hotel hall without looking back has taken up more mental real estate than I could have ever thought possible. It messed with my head so badly, I made the mistake of mentioning it to the guys the next day on the flight to Texas. They’ve spent as much time reviewing it as they do game tape and our playbook.
“I don’t get it,” Gus interjects before popping his tooth into place. “Beatie definitely likes you—at least more than she likes the rest of us. All the vibes were there. What kind of inside information are you not sharing, Wellsy?”
Crosby jolts at being called out. His eyes go wide, and he loses a little color in his face before swallowing thickly. “I’m not sure what I’m allowed to say.”
“He’s engaged to Bea’s best friend.” Obie sighs. “This is one instance in which bro code does not apply. Whatever Violet has told Cap is in a vault.”
“Butyou’renot engaged to Vi. You’re the best friend of the best friend.” Gus springs over his bench and practically tackles Obie in his haste to cross the locker room. “What doyouknow?” He has his puppy-dog eyes, silently pleading with each blink. The rest of the guys laugh, and I use the distraction to slip on my boxer-briefs.
“Look,” Obie levels with the guys and uses his hands to turn Gus around and practically frog marches him back to his stall. “Bea gave up her whole life in England when she came here. That’s a huge decision, and she seemed to make it without even flinching.” He heads to his locker, grabbing a Midnight hoodie to pull over his head. When the black strands of his hair pop through, he brings a hand up to smooth them and focuses on me. “She likes you, but I think her life feels scarier than she lets on. If you want her, play the long game.”
I give him a nod of confirmation and am happy when Leo changes the topic to the upcoming holiday party the team is hosting this weekend. Usually, it’s held on the days off we get at Christmas, but I think it’s nice to have that time with our families. Last year, Natalia was only willing to stay for thirty minutes before I needed to take her home. Now, Ms. Margaret can watch her, and I can socialize like an adult for an evening.
I tune out the discussion and focus on getting my clothes on. I have a couple of hours before I need to pick Natalia up from school, and I plan on fitting in a little early Christmas shopping. The guys begin filtering out, and as I hitch my backpack over my shoulder in the hall, I pull my phone from my pocket.
Any chance you can get out of the office?
Solnyshka
I have meetings scheduled most of the afternoon. Did you need something?
I type “you,” and stare at the three letters without sending them until I hit the exit. While pushing open the door with my shoulder, I delete the reply. Obie’s words ping around my head, and I type out something more casual. More friendly than forward, even if it kills me.
I’m going to pick up some Santa presents for Natalia, just wondered if you could count it as a late lunch if I bought you something to eat.
Solnyshka
YOU’RE Father Christmas? Nicky, you’ve just shattered me. I’ve been living a lie.
I bark out a laugh as I cross the parking lot, shaking my head at Bea’s sharp wit. I can imagine the smirk playing on her lips asshe typed this reply. The way her whiskey eyes would crinkle and sparkle with mischief. Before I can reply, another text bubble appears.
Solnyshka
Nat wants to try ramen, so see if you can find a cute bowl set for her.
Ramen?
Solnyshka
It’s the K-Pop Demon Hunters effect. Zoey’s her favorite, and she wants to eat what Zoey eats. She told me at the Halloween carnival.
Ramen bowl. K-Pop Demon Hunters. Check.
I open my car door, starting the engine to get the heat going. December in Connecticut is no joke, and today’s weather is the kind of gloomy gray that promises incoming storms. I’m used to the cold on the ice, but being outside in the wind makes my blood feel thin. I shiver until the vents kick out warm air. I slip my phone into the cup holder, but it lights up as soon as I let it go with another message.
Solnyshka
I’m sorry I can’t get away.
It’s all right. You’re busy being amazing. I just miss you.
Before I overthink it, I punch the button to send that message. I might have missed an opportunity to kiss Bea, but I’m not missing any more chances to let her know how I feel. Besides, it’s not a confession of love; it’s just a nice thing to say.Right?
