“Mom dropped me off at the extended-hours care at the school, and I stayed there after dismissal, too, until she could get me. Sometimes, our neighbor would sign me out, and I’d go to her place. But Mom usually had to work.” There isn’t any bitterness in his voice. We both spent a lot of our childhoodsalone, yet I can tell by the way Nicky has spoken about his mother and his upbringing that he never felt unattended or unloved. It’s vastly different from how I think about my childhood.
“My dad was always at work, too,” I offer. “But Mum was usually…elsewhere.” Nicky cocks his head, so I answer the silent question. “I’m the product of two people who treated their relationship like a checklist. Respectable families with generational wealth? Check. Engagement and wedding covered in the press? Check. Produce a child to ensure properties and holdings can stay in the family? Check. Hire nannies to raise said child and never have to be involved? Double-check.”
Nicky pulls up to the curb, deftly parking the SUV as the familiar bitterness creeps into my voice. I look out the window to draw a slow breath in. The anger slips into a quiet sadness I’m used to carrying. There have been therapists over the years who have helped me address the issues that come with having parents in name only, but there are times I can’t control the flood of emotions that reality brings. I let out a big sigh and turn back to face Nicky, knowing the feeling will pass.
There’s no judgment in the way he looks at me. Just an open, honest expression, pinched at the corners with concern he’s trying to hide. I instantly feel relaxed. Accepted, yet he hasn’t even said a single word because he’s not forcing me to explain anything else.
“It’s their loss,solnyshka,” he says before popping his door open and getting out of the car.
CHAPTER 6
NICKY
THE RUBBER PUCKIES GROUP CHAT
Gus
I’m just saying, Baby Tex makes me want my own.
Obie
But it’s not like a dog. You don’t just *get* a baby. Juliette was asleep the entire time we were there and used you as a pillow.
Gus
Exactly. She chose me to sleep on. I have baby magic.
Wellsy
Here we go…
Hutchy
I have nine years between me and my little brother. TRUST ME when I say, you have no magic. You were just with a newborn.
Gus
You’re wrong, Hutch. Just because you never had it, doesn’t mean I don’t. *Magic*
Bones
I see the bubbles bouncing, Hutch. It’s not worth arguing with him.
Gus, a newborn can sleep anywhere, anytime, through almost anything. Talk to me when you are up to your elbows in shit and Juliette has discovered her lungs.
I shake my head as the messages continue to roll in: Gus swearing he’s going to “get” a baby, and everyone else reminding him how delusional that is. Beyond the screen of my phone, Natalia sits at the dining room table, garbage bags covering the surface and a massive orange pumpkin in the center. She’s kneeling on a dining chair, one hand on the table for balance while she paints the gourd an array of rainbow colors. It’s mid-October, still too early to carve a jack-o-lantern, but the Halloween spirit has taken hold.
So…Halloween party. We need costumes.
I steer the conversation in the chat back to the original topic. Halloween in the NHL is a big deal. It’s the first milestone of the season. We can collectively relax after camp, pre-season, and the first few games of the regular season. Someone usually hosts a party on one of our off nights, but this year, the organization has decided to throw it. It’s an all-day affair, with a publiccarnival for families and meet-and-greets with players, followed by a private function for the team and employees. There’s even a costume contest, and the guys and I are determined to win.
Obie
We need GOOD costumes. I’m not going to watch us get beaten by Ted in accounting. No offense to Ted.
Hutchy
Ted’s a great guy, but yeah, he’s going down.
