“Dad wouldn’t approve,” I murmur.
“He shouldn’t have gone and died on me then.” She takes another toke and her shoulders begin to relax. “There’s a notebook in your dad’s safe. He had a couple of hidden accounts he said you’d be able to find, the details are in order.”
“I don’t give a fuck about money.”
“One is for any children you have, the other is for Rayna. What's in the bank accounts are mine, the house is mine, and when I go, that all goes to you.”
“Mom, I don’t want to hear it.”
“If I say it now, it’s said, and you know. We don’t have to bring it up again.”
Thank fuck for that. She sways though she’s sat down and wedged between me and the doorframe. For the first time in weeks, I smile.
“When we first came to this town, I never imagined this would be our lives. I don’t know what it would have been like if Billy were still alive, maybe he would have let us down so many times I wouldn’t have had another child and lost her, I wouldn’t have fallen in love and go on to know what pain can truly feel like.”
I place my arm around her, and she leans her head on my shoulder. “I’m leaving, Zachery. I'm going to sell the house, and the shop. I want you and Nina, and Sebastian to come with me.”
I knew this was coming at some point, she’s been making enough flippant comments for days.
“Mom,” I drawl.
“Don’t answer yet. I want you to seriously think about it. I've buried my daughter, and now my husband. Your aunt, for all her troubles, killed herself because of the club life. You're all I have left and I pray you never have to bury your son, especially because of the club. If you stay, Seb will one day wear the patch and you’ll find out what fear and anxiety feels like, wondering if your son will still be alive when you lay your head down every single night.”
“Out of respect, I’ll think about it.” I won’t but I can’t face another argument, going around in circles. “If Neen has her way, Seb will be off to college and then out in the world.”
“I used to think that about you, and now it takes a bottle of wine and a sleeping pill just to get to sleep every night.”
I don’t like hearing this, but she must know I'm more than capable of handling myself. I’ve proved it enough times.
“What about Gunner and Rayna? Where do they fit into your escape?”
“If I could take them with me, I would so fast, but Leo would hunt me down and the Jackson’s would never let Gunner leave town.” She sighs. “I’ll still keep in contact with them.”
I gaze out into the back yard and try to picture a life away from Willow’s Peak. I weren’t born here but this town is all I know and remember. My phone goes off again, but I don’t move to answer.
“Where will you go?”
Her eyes lazily roll around her sockets, and I smile. She's handling it better than I thought she would.
She shrugs. “But wherever I do end up, I'm going to need you to teach me how to make these things,” she laughs holding up the last of her joint.
“I don’t know how I feel about my mother having to find her own dealer.” I snort.
“I won’t have to if you come with me.”
I keep my mouth shut and continue gazing as my phone goes off again.
“It will be the club,” she murmurs. “We both know it and we both know if you stay, this will be the rest of your life. Please don’t make me have to bury my entire family, and what about Nina, you want her going through what I am now?”
She’s rambling and I let her get it off her chest. “Could you imagine having to console her if your boy was killed and you have to stand at his graveside, watching him be buried underneath dirt and then live watching grass grow above him.”
“Mom, stop.”
She’s living her memories, but I can’t begin to imagine going through what she has, not with Sebastian.
“It will happen, mark my words, I would never lie to you. Never have, never will.”
She's forgetting about the time she didn’t tell me Slade wasn’t my real father, but I don’t bother bringing it up.
