“We’re good at quick, lately.”
My laughter disturbs the twins, and I pray it doesn’t wake them. I fell in love with them the moment they were born but until they’re sleeping through the night and spend more of the day laughing than crying, I'm terrified of waking them when they nap.
“Where’s Pen and Tommy?”
“Pen’s in her room and Tommy’s glued to his favorite cartoons in the living room.”
Entwining my fingers with hers, I bring our hands to my mouth and kiss her fingers and knuckles.
“You can stop looking at me like that, I told you the other day, no more ofthatuntil I get sterilised or you get the snip.”
Pain radiates in my balls at the thought, but it hurts more not being inside my old lady.
“Who would have the more intrusive procedure?” I ask losing all lust in the moment.
She pulls away from me and digs out a pamphlet from the drawer. She hands it over and I stare down at a guy on the front page with a stupid fucking grin on his face.
“If I were to get sterilised, it would be quite intrusive and lay me up for a few days. But,” she drawls. “If you were to get a vasectomy, you’d be an out-patient, in and out within a couple of hours and back on your feet the next day.” It would make more sense for me to get it done, but I still say, “But babe, we’re talking about getting my balls cut off.”
She rolls her eyes so damn hard, I fear for a second they’ll get stuck in the back of her head.
“You’ll keep your balls, babe. Don't be so dramatic.”
“Dramatic?” I snort.
Narrowing her eyes, she takes a deep breath. “Let me remind you of dramatic.” I brace myself. “I was in labor with Tommy for hours, contractions that felt like they were ripping my body in two. Then, I had to be stitched up after fifty-two minutes of pushing your son out, and then the placenta. You remember how big his head was at birth?”
“I...”
She's not finished. I should’ve known better than to think she was.
“Then, you knocked me up again and this time with two babies! Two babies who stretched my skin so much I was waiting for it to tear open before my eyes. For months I was kicked by four little legs, four little hands and elbows digging into me. Two babies using my bladder as a freaking trampoline. And when they wanted to come into the world, do you remember the rush to the hospital and how scared we were about how fast it was all happening? How I had to have a caesarean. You know, the scar you see every time I undress.”
She goes quiet and I wait an extra few seconds to make sure she’s done before I say, “You said our kids were miracles.”
“What I really meant was it was a miracle I survived it. Come to think about it, I've done more than my share for our family, the option of me being sterilised is off the table. You get the snip, or you go celibate. I love you, I love our kids, our family, but four kids are enough and...”
“And nothing, I’ll look into it and make an appointment.”
Shock hits her and then it wears off pretty quick. Her smile gives me faith she won’t keep me locked out forever.
“You promise?”
“I promise I will let a doc hack at my balls so I can fuck you again.”
“Sounds good.” She laughs. “Though they don’t hack, I think it’s just a little slicing and dicing.”
My face scrunches in the pain I can already feel. “Fuck, I had sympathy for you during the births, a little in return wouldn’t go a miss.”
She steps closer to me, takes the pamphlet and tucks it into my inside cut pocket, and smirks.
“You’ll feel my sympathy after I pick you up from the hospital and it’s all over with.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I have to get away from this conversation. “Oh, I think my phone is ringing...”
“No it’s not,” she mutters. “Now, I said you couldn’t fuck me, but I didn’t say anything about not taking care of my man, or him taking care of me in other ways.”
“Babe, I’m not really in the mood for you to blow me right now.”
