“Yeah, when he’s here with us. If Hopper has him, it’s fifty-fifty he makes it home, Holly. You do understand that?”
“Of course I do, but I know my husband, he wouldn’t leave me.”
Her sigh is a little dramatic, even for Harper. “He wouldn’t have a choice!” she yells and then winces as Wolf murmurs.“Holly, your lack of evident worry is concerning. I have trust in my brother, but look what happened to Slade.”
“This isn’t the same.”
“I’ve seen my fair share of people being taken, shit, I’ve been taken by the enemy myself.”
“I know, and here you stand today. Nothing you can say will change my mind. Leo isn’t going anywhere.” I sigh. “In the mean time, while this little one is finally asleep, I’m going to get ahead on making up their bottles.”
Lying Wolf next to Roman in his bassinet, I gently place his blanket over him and look down at them both and smile. The brothers are always talking about the future, and somehow this feels right. I don’t know how I’ll feel in the future, but as it stands, I don’t want to get pregnant again. Roman can find his brother in Wolf. They will be the future, they will be Leo’s sons and if they should choose to follow in his footsteps, they will be his legacy within the club, and I have no doubt he will be around to see it play out at my side because Leo will come home, and I'll have the home we created ready waiting for him.
The kids are bathed, fed, and sleeping. Harper hasn’t moved from the couch in over an hour. She stares at the TV, though it isn’t switched on. She's grieving and now worrying about Leo. I’m worried about how much more she can take but I’m keeping a close eye on her while JJ isn’t around. Alannah and Bonnie stop by to check in on her but they’re not around all the time. Pouring myself a mug of coffee, I sit at the table. I can’t remember the last time I got through an entire mug before it went cold.
I power up the laptop. Now it looks like we’re taking full responsibility for Wolf, we’re going to need everything he needs so he can feel at home. Raising him and Roman as brothers, he’ll also be Rayna’s little brother. I'm a mom to Rayna though no blood binds us together. The club is always talking about brotherhood; to me, bringing up Wolf is what their brotherhood is about. A brother has gone down and we pick up where he can no longer do it himself. I’ll make sure we raise Wolf into a strong man and I’ll do it for Shane.
Wondering what Leo is going to make of all this, it hits me he might not make it home to ever find out. No, I won’t let the doubt creep in and muddle what I know to be true. I know my husband, things haven’t gone his way lately, but he is a lucky guy, and he’s going to walk through our door, smile that smile of his, and most likely tell me he’s hungry. Then I'll tell him about the new addition to our family.
“What are you going to do if he doesn’t come home?” Harper murmurs.
Closing my eyes, I pray for a boost of energy to repeat myself. I understand we handle things differently, but it’s like her memory is a thick fog and nothing I say is sticking around.
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“He would have made sure he left you and the kids covered. No one would expect you to move out, Dad would never let his grandkids move away. Imagine if in time you got together with another brother, no, you wouldn’t do that, but then you never know what’s gonna happen down the line, do you?”
Leaving the rest of my coffee, I push up from the chair and join her on the couch.
Taking her hands in my gloved ones, I squeeze hard enough to get her attention.
“You’re rambling, and thinking of things that are never going to happen. Why don’t you head up to bed and try to get somesleep. I’m going to stay down here with the boys tonight so you can all sleep through without them waking the house up.”
“But if he doesn’t come home, everything changes and it’s going to be bad. Nothing good will come from his death.”
Anger bites at me but I keep it locked in for Harper’s benefit. She’s not thinking straight so I take a deep breath and repeat, “Go up to bed, get some sleep, and we’ll hopefully hear something by morning.”
She thinks about it and then nods. “Do you think JJ will come back tonight?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart.”
The longer he’s out, the sooner my husband will be found. I hope I don’t see him until Leo walks through the door.
14
Jj
The smoke is thick, hanging over us, as Cas hits his pack hard. Between him and my dad, they’re putting me off lighting up.
“We should be out there until we find them!” Myles yells, pounding his fist on the table in frustration.
Mason's eyes bore into the side of my head and I sigh. We’re all tired and it’s starting to show.
“And where would you be lookin’?” Cas demands. “They had at least twelve fuckin’ hours on us before we knew he was taken. I shouldn’t have to remind ya!”
Dad swigs from his bottle of tequila, using a glass long forgotten. The empty chairs are easier to ignore while we’re concentrating on Leo but Dad’s eyes keep cutting across to them and then he drinks more.
“What doyouthink, Jay?” Mason asks.
