“But no one did,” she argues.
“Harper, don’t be so naive,” I mutter, adding, “You know better, especially when the club has been hit hard like this.”
Her face reddens and I prepare myself for her anger. “I know better?” she mimics. “What I doknowis the only man I had growing up was taken from me, I'm never going to see him again, Gunner will never remember him, how great he is. All because someone wearing your patch needed money!”
Climbing off the bed, I step closer to her, but she rises from the chair and puts more distance between us. “I just need time to process,” she cries.
“Don’t shut me out, babe. Please.”
She sighs. “I’m not. I just need some time to myself. I can’t think when you’re hovering over me.”
“It’s my job, I am your husband,” I remind her.
“And I love you for it, but the only thing I need to get through the worst is time. I need quiet.”
“We’re living in a house with four kids, two of which are babies. If quiet is what you need, this ain’t the place.”
“Kids can’t help making noise.”
It’s a sucker punch but I hear her loud and clear.
“It’s me, I’m the problem.”
She sighs in frustration, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s not about you!”
Losing patience, I tell her, “You weren’t the only one who lost him, two other brothers were killed and a prospect! We all lost them!”
I expect her anger to blow, but she laughs. Which is worse. “You’ve never been able to understand how our lives were so different growing up. Sparky was a dad you had around every day. You could rely on him. You knew if you needed him, he’d be there. I could only rely on Slade when my mom chose to bring us to town, or when I would call him and then had to wait till he rode out to wherever we were. Do you know how many times I begged my mom to let us live with him. He was the father to me I’d always wanted, and I wanted it everyday.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “You’ve lost brothers, but I’ve lost family. Do you know that I’m now the oldest McCarthy blood wise. It’s me and Zach and a couple of kids between us. There won’t be any big family parties for us anymore.”
Losing the fight, I go to step closer to her, but she backs off.
“Like I said, I just need time to get through this.”
She closes herself in the bathroom, thankfully not slamming the door, and I head over to the bar, grab a beer, and light a cigarette as I make myself comfortable. I should have stayed with her, but we would have gone around in circles until one of us said something we’d later regret.
I’m not alone long before Mason joins me and steals my pack of cigarettes, lighting one for himself.
“Where’s Leo?” I ask him.
“Saw him ride out about half an hour ago.”
“He didn’t say where he was going?”
“Not to me.” The prospect places a beer in front of Mason and fucks off again. Staring at the only prospect we have left, I realise I don’t know his name. I’m sure I would have heard it around but I’ve never taken an interest, nor with the one that recently burned to death.
“I heard a few of the brothers talking before they left.”
“Of course they were.” I sigh. “What were they saying?” I ask though I can already imagine.
“They think Leo is too impulsive, reckless. After the last few days, they’re losing trust in him.”
I drain my beer and suck hard on my cigarette. “Through the badandthe good, brothers should remember that.”
It would certainly be fucking easier if they did.
He nods, and asks, “You’re his VP, do you still trust him?”
My brows knit together as I glare at him. “The fuck did you just say?”
