“Yeah, I really am.”
May nods.I can see she’s not convinced, but at least she’s done doubting my sanity.
“Okay, then go.”She stands and takes both our wine glasses to the sink.“Go, before I change my mind and actually call that ambulance.But you are going to text me.Regularly.And if I find out you’ve been eaten by a sea monster—”
“He would never.”
“—I will be so fucking angry at you.”
I cross the room and hug her.She hugs me back, and I hold on for a second longer than necessary because I don’t know when I’ll be able to do this again.I don’t know exactly what the other side of this looks like yet.But I know I’m choosing it anyway.
“Take care of yourself,” she murmurs.
“You too.”
I walk her to the door and watch her head down the hall, and then I stand in the doorway of my apartment for a moment and look back at it.It feels like memories of a life already lost.It was a good life.It got me here, but I need to turn the page on the old story and head to a new chapter.
I turn off the light, pull the door shut behind me, and run.
Chapter Twelve
Lilith
The street is still here.I don’t know why that surprises me, but it does.The Victorian brick and the narrow windows with their dark glass are waiting for me.The lamp above The Undertow’s door throws amber light onto the pavement, and the sign hangs perfectly still, even though I can feel a wind softly traveling through the street.
I stop outside and take a deep breath.I’ve been here before, but nothing about tonight is the same.This time, I know what I am and what I’m choosing.And I’m back on purpose.
The handle turns.Inside, the bar is quieter than I remember.A few of the usual creatures are sitting scattered around the dimly lit room.The blue woman, Joly, I think the bartender called her, is moving between tables.When she spots me, she tips her chin toward the back of the bar.
I already know where he is.I can feel it.A pull in my sternum like a compass needle swinging north, insistent and sure, and I follow it without looking at anything else.
He’s sitting at the bar, but he’s not patiently waiting this time.His shoulders are set with a tension that looks almost painful, and the glass in front of him is untouched.He’s staring at nothing.
Then he turns.His eyes find mine across the room, and he’s on his feet before I’ve crossed half the distance between us.We meet in the middle.He doesn’t grab me, even though I can see how much he wants to.He cups my face in both hands, his thumbs brushing my cheekbones, and looks at me like he’s checking that I’m real.Like the last seventeen hours have been something he barely survived.
“You came back,” he says.
“I came back knowing,” I say.“That’s different.”
“You know the truth,” he says.
“I found an ancient manuscript.I know what I am to you.And I know what completing the bond means.”I hold his gaze and nod.“I want to do it, Theron.”
He exhales.“I need to tell you something first.About the ritual.”
Theron
I lead Lillith upstairs to the pocket realm.I take her hand, and I don’t let go because the seventeen hours she was gone carved something out of me that her presence is only just starting to fill back in.I’m aware of every point of contact between us, and I’m also aware that what I’m about to tell her may make her pull that hand away.
The room is as we left it.The dark sheets are still pulled back where she scrambled out of them.I’ve been unable to make myself straighten them.It felt too much like erasing her.
Lillith sits on the edge of the bed and looks at me.She’s changed.She doesn’t possess the trembling wonder of the first time, nor the frantic flight out of here in the morning.She arrived at the bar like someone who’d done their research, made their decision, and was ready to be told the next difficult thing.
It should make this easier, but it doesn’t.
“The ritual of the Anchor,” I start, then stop.I’ve been alive for centuries, and I have no idea how to say this without terrifying her.
“Just tell me,” she says.
