“You were wonderful, my love. I’m so proud to call you mine, Caria; you are everything I’ve dreamed of in a partner. You are my equal in everything, my dark queen, and I will alwaystreat you as such,” he says as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
DIARY ENTRY:
When will the hurt become less? A diary is supposed to be a safe space, but you are hell. Forcing me to relive my nightmare over and over. I can’t stop crying, even after all these weeks, I still have tears to spare. I loved that man, and you took that from me, from us, all because of your cruel and sick game I never wanted any part of.
Hell Hath Fury
HARLOT
Chapter 17
“Do you think Faas can keep Elijah away from me? He seemed hysterical the last time we saw him… Would keeping him out of reach, at a distance from me, further tear down the erroneous connection?” I ask Emrys guardedly.
“I’m certain the Dhampir can keep him under control, my love, and if Elijah decides to go against his orders…” he shrugs, “which honestly most likely will happen as the curse demands it from him, Faas might act upon his threats.”
Emrys ponders for a second before he continues.
“Worst case scenario, I will move you into the city where it’s impossible for him to reach you,” Emrys muses.
The image of Elijah having his throat sliced, or worse, being torn apart by Faas, is sickening, yet the feeling is overtaken by euphoria, a sense of absolution. The constant pull and push of emotions is draining me, not only when it comes to Elijah; the thought of ending Fynn’s life, lately, consumes almost every minute of my day. It’s exhausting.
“Perhaps Faas can take care of Fynn as well for me if he’s already dealing with my demons,” I half-joke.
Emrys laughs at that, his pointed teeth showing, an amused twinkle in those darkened eyes.
“That would kill two birds with one stone indeed. Tell me, Tempest, are you afraid of what will happen to Elijah if Faas keeps him from you?”
It’s a serious question; one I have avoided considering. I mull over the ask; part of me is terrified of the consequences the Dhampir will impose on him, but another part of me, a slightly more prominent part of me, would rather have it happen yesterday than tomorrow. His death would bring me a welcome peace of mind. My yearning for autonomy is more important than his life. I’m uncertain if I will feel responsible for his death, if it comes to that. A nagging voice in the back of my mind holds me hostage, a question that arises each time I acknowledge that I do want him to die. Doesn’t Elijah deserve a fair chance at building his own life, experiencing love, and knowing the actual truth? Is it really for me to decide that his life must end so I can be released?
“You want to try to talk to him again, don’t you, my little tempest? Try to convince him that the voices he hears whispering aren’t truthful. I don’t even have to hear your thoughts; your face tells me all.”
Emrys looks at me lovingly, a simper plastered on his face, and it makes me question once more how I found such a loving and understanding man. Our souls were destined to meet, to recognize one another, and to seek each other out. He and I, it’s as if we’ve met in a previous lifetime; our familiarity is sometimes almost scary.
“I do…” I confess.
“Perhaps…” Emrys interrupts me, already knowing what I want to ask of him. He finishes my sentence, takes hold of my hands, and tells me he will ask Faas for the favor of staying close in case Elijah loses his mind upon seeing me, the cursenegatively influencing him. Emrys tells me he’ll be back within a few minutes, gives me a kiss that makes me yearn for more, and vanishes into the almost-black shadows.
I drop into a moss-green velvet balloon chair, my eyes glued to the spot where Emrys disappeared. I notice I’m feeling nervous, an uneasy feeling takes hold of me, a foreboding, trying to tell me I am making a huge mistake and that I should leave Elijah alone. This is an impossible demand, and the tug between my head and heart is still waging a war; even if my heart appears to be on the road to victory, the curse does not allow my mind to surrender easily. It compels me to seek him out; it commands me to do so. I have to speak to Elijah to make him see the fallacy of it all, to keep myself safe, and, most of all, to protect my love, Emrys. I hate seeing him hurt because of all this, a corrupted destiny shadowing our fated connection. Despite his words, I can feel it, the torment inside of him, and I loathe myself for being the cause of his distress.
Rippling in the shadows tells me my monster has safely returned to me. Even though Faas is no match for him, I still worry and exhale a deep breath in relief as I see Emrys reappear unscathed.
He steps out of the darkness, and his beauty captivates me. His appearance is ethereal, with his thick, dark hair and intriguing, almost-black eyes—only a slight hint of gray due to our bonding.
“An eternity with you will still not be enough,” I blurt out, my cheeks immediately reddening from embarrassment.
I slap my hand over my mouth as if it will reverse the words I’ve just spoken. For a long time, I have been consumed by the thought of asking him to turn me, to make me like him, to be immortal, but the burden of the curse has made me hesitant about my desires. Seeing him like this, a man made of darkness, my heart thunders, my core heats, and every cell in my body callsfor him. Our tale of fated love must never end; my inescapable death is an impending doom upon our happiness.
He tilts his head at me; an eyebrow raised at my sudden outburst. His dark eyes soften as he looks at me, and the corners of his mouth curl upward.
“I couldn’t agree more with that statement, myLucem Mei. I also want to be at the center of your storm for an unending lifetime.”
He cups my face with his large hands, his dark eyes sorrowful as they meet mine.
“Why do you feel ashamed to say it out loud, darling?”
“Because it’s a selfish desire, not knowing how it’ll affect the curse, how it’ll affect you. It’s greedy, unwilling to accept I will only have this lifetime with you; instead, I want you for an eternity,” I whisper.
“I vow to you now, curse or not, you and I will spend eternity together. I will make sure of that, my little tempest. This is my pledge to you, one I promise to keep. When all of this is over, we will take that step, forge ourselves into immortality.”
