I swallowed, my throat thick. This had been put off too long. I squared my shoulders and faced Van. “Sorry, all the appointments were made last month, and I didn’t think…” But I had. I’d thought a lot about telling him when all the appointments were. “You told me your travel schedule, and I didn’t want you to feel torn.”
Lily lifted her brows. Glancing between us, she forced a smile. “I need to grab the veggie tray. Jasper already brought the cookie salad out.” She darted around us.
“I could’ve been here.” A troubled line bisected his brow. “Is someone going with you?”
“No, other than an ultrasound, it’s a normal appointment. I’ve already seen Bean, and I’m not finding out the gender, so I thought it wasn’t a big deal.” Each appointment was a big deal to me, but I couldn’t have him changing his trip. What if he felt manipulated?
Disappointment clouded his expression. “You should have someone with you.”
“If I feel like I need someone, I can call a sister or Alder. Maybe Jasper. He doesn’t have kids, so he hasn’t sat in on any yet.”
A muscle in Van’s jaw clenched. “As long as you’re not alone.”
I would get used to it. “I won’t be.”
Dad came through the door. “Van.” He gave Van a hearty shoulder whack. “How’s it going? Ready for the divorce?”
The corners of Dad’s eyes crinkled like he was joking, but his gaze held more than humor.
“Divorce in the morning, then I’ll take Clover to brunch and help her move.”
Dad patted his shoulder again. “You’re a good man. In case I don’t have a chance to talk to you before then, thanks for taking care of her.”
“I can’t take the credit,” Van said easily and aimed a smile my way. “She’s taken care of me just as much as I’ve done with her.”
Was he talking about cooking and cleaning and checking in with each other? Or sex? Because yes, to all of it. “I’ll miss taking turns cooking.”
There was so much more added to the list. I was going to miss a movie partner. I might’ve gotten a sour stomach from the popcorn and brownies, but I’d still love to experience it again. And there were the other things. Orgasms.
Would we be able to mess around after?
No. Bad idea. We’d both be doing each other a disservice if we continued having sex while we lived separately and planned our lives apart. Only he was staying in Coal Haven. That decision wasn’t for me. It was for Bean.
That was our connection after the divorce. Bean. Nothing more.
Chapter Twenty
Van
* * *
The guys might say they watch football, but there wasn’t much being viewed. Alder and Weston were talking about the oil business. Jasper dozed on the recliner, his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Lily’s oldest son was sprawled on the cushions next to him, in an almost identical position. Eliot and Evander were talking pumpkins and horses, and Jensen had his hands behind his head, slouched in a beanbag chair he brought from his house for extra seating.
“You’re sticking around, then?” Jensen asked. “You’re renting from Alder, right?”
Alder and Weston stopped talking, and it was like a spotlight hit me.
“Yeah. Bean’s my only family, really.”
Jensen cocked his head. “Bean? Is that what Clover’s naming the baby?”
“No, it’s what we call it.” Defensiveness prickled along the back of my neck, and my muscles automatically tensed, ready for ridicule.
“Ours was Bud,” Evander said, rubbing a hand over his shaved scalp. “I still call Willa that a lot. She loves it.”
A light smile lifted my lips. If I kept calling the baby Bean after birth, would it like that? Something just for us when it came to a kid who was going to have loads more aunts and uncles than I had?
I wasn’t competing with anyone, but…I was. Just another uncle in…I did a quick count. Fuck, five others? Why did I feel a need to elbow my way to the head of the line? Just because I’d been married to Clover?
