"You're just like Thad. Just like my father. You all think you know what's best for me, and you're all willing to take away my agency to get what you want." Her voice is harder and colder than I’ve ever heard it before, and anger flares in me as I stubbornly refuse to believe that this is how things are now.
"I'm nothing like them?—"
"Aren't you?" She stares at me, her eyes tired and misty. "Thad controls me through obligation. My father controls me through money. And you—you control me through obsession. Through this desperate, suffocating need that makes me forget who I am and what I want."
"That's not fair?—"
"Fair?" She laughs brokenly. "You want to talk about fair? My father threatened to cut off my funding if I didn't come home. Thad moved the wedding up to the summer. If I don't marry him—if I refuse—I lose everything. My education. My funding. My future."
The words settle over me like ice water.Summer. It’s not far enough. It could never be far enough. I can’t let this happen.
"Then don't marry him.” My voice is a plea. "Come with me. I'll take care of everything—your tuition, your living expenses, everything. You don't need your father's money. You don't need?—"
"And then what? I become dependent on you instead? I trade one cage for another?"
"It's not a cage?—"
"Yes, it is! Don't you see? Everyone wants to own me. Everyone wants to control me. And I'm so tired, Romeo. I'm so fucking tired of being pulled in different directions by people who claim to love me but really just want to possess me."
I take a step toward her, and she takes a step back.
"Don't," she says.
"Savannah, please. Just listen?—"
"No. You listen. I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you. I can't—" Her voice breaks. "I can't keep losing pieces of myself every time you touch me."
"You're not losing yourself?—"
"Yes, I am! Every time I'm with you, I forget about my responsibilities. I forget about my degree, my future, everything I'm supposed to want. And I can't afford to forget anymore. I'm walking a razor's edge here, and one wrong move—one moment of weakness—and I lose everything." Tears start to roll down her cheeks, and I want to reach for her, comfort her. I want things I’ve never wanted before, to hold her, to make everything all right for this one person who has completely turned my life upside down.
"Then let me help you?—"
"You can't help me! Don't you understand? You being here, you trying to fix this—it makes everything worse. My father knows about you. Thad knows about you. They're watching me now, monitoring everything I do, and if they find out you're still in my life—" She stops, taking a shaky breath. "If they find out, it's over. The wedding gets moved up immediately. I get pulled from school. I lose everything."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying you need to leave. You need to stay away from me. You need to—" She's sobbing now, her whole body shaking. "You need to let me go."
"No."
"Romeo—"
I shake my head. "No. I'm not letting you go. I can't."
"You have to."
"I won't."
We're standing so close now. Close enough that I can smell her shampoo, see the trails of the tears on her cheeks, feel the heat radiating from her body.
Close enough to kiss her.
I reach out, my hand cupping her face, and she doesn't pull away. Her eyes close, and for a moment—just a moment—I think she's going to let me in. "Please," I whisper. "Please don't do this."
"I have to." Her voice is still so cold, but it’s trembling now. I grasp for that, hold onto it as a sliver of hope.
"You don't. We can figure this out. Together. We can?—"
