"I was in the library. I saw you come in here." He takes a step closer, then stops. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine."
The certainty in his voice makes me laugh, though it comes out more like a sob. "No. I'm not."
He moves into the room, but he doesn't come too close. He just pulls out a chair a few feet away and sits down, giving me space.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I can just sit here, if that helps."
Somehow it does help. Just having him here, not pushing or demanding, not trying to fix me. Just being here if I need him.
We sit in silence for several minutes. I hear the sound of students laughing outside, and a car going past somewhere on the other side of the building. I swallow hard, not quite looking at him.
“I’m sorry about lunch. And Thad. I’m sorry about… everything, I guess.”
"You don't have to apologize."
I still can’t look at him. "I do. You were defending me, and I just—I didn't know what to say."
"I shouldn't have said those things. It wasn't my place."
"Maybe it wasn't. But you were right." I can’t believe I’m saying it out loud to him. I don’t know him all that well. I don’t know if I can trust him with this, but it feels like I can. Like Ihave a real friend. "About all of it—him not seeing me. Wanting me to be someone I'm not."
Romeo is quiet for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"
I nod, sniffling. "Okay."
"Do you love him?"
The question hangs in the air between us, and I know I should say yes. I should defend my engagement, my relationship, my choice.
But instead, I shake my head. “It’s not about love. Our families have been planning this for so long, and he's everything I'm supposed to want. Successful, appropriate, from the right background. He’s my father’s choice. That was the deal. My degree in exchange for marrying the man he wants me to.” I wipe at my cheeks, brushing away the tears. “This isn’t a love match. It’s an arrangement. I was supposed to be fine with that.”
I can see Romeo’s shoulders tense as I speak. He waits a moment, then says, "But?"
I swallow hard. "But I don't think I've ever felt like myself with him. I've always felt like I'm playing a role. Being the person he wants me to be, the person my father wants me to be. And I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of pretending."
"Then stop."
I look at him, and he’s serious. I shake my head. "It's not that simple.”
"Isn't it?"
"You don't understand. My father—he has expectations. Plans. And Thad's family, too. I can't just?—"
"You can." Romeo leans forward, and his voice is quiet but firm. "Savannah, you can do whatever you want. You don't have to marry him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
The words take the air right out of my lungs.You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
No one has ever said that to me before. Not my father. Not Thad. Not anyone. Everyone in my life has told me what I should do, what I'm supposed to do, what's expected of me. But no one has ever told me that I have a choice.
"It's not that easy," I say, but my voice is shaking.
