I forget everything except the way it feels to be seen.Heard. Not as an ornament or an obligation or a reflection of someone else's expectations, but as myself. As an intelligent woman with ideas worth hearing.
"You're going to be brilliant," Romeo says when I finish explaining my research interests. "I can see your papers in scholarly journals. Students will be studyingyourwork years from now."
"You can't know that."
He shakes his head and leans forward slightly. "You're going to make a real contribution to the field, Savannah. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise."
My throat feels tight. "Thank you."
He shrugs. “I’m just being honest.”
We return to the study room, and the rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of productive work. By the time we finish, wehave a solid outline and a division of research responsibilities. We've also somehow shifted from sitting across from each other to sitting side by side, both of us leaning over the same book, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating from his body.
Close enough that when he turns his head to say something, his face is inches from mine.
I should move away, but for a fraction of a second, I don't. Then I shift backward, feeling my heart start to pound again.
"Same time Monday?" he asks.
I manage to nod. "Yes. Monday."
He holds my gaze for a moment longer than necessary, and then starts to gather his things before standing and leaving.
I sit there for several minutes after he's gone, trying to calm my racing heart, trying to convince myself that this is just intellectual excitement. Just the thrill of working with someone who challenges me academically.
But I know I'm lying to myself.
—
During our next seminar,for the first time, I find myself disagreeing with Dr. Kouris as she lectures on Minoan religious practices. I get her point, and her argument is a traditional interpretation, but I don’t think it’s right.
I raise my hand, my heart pounding. Dr. Kouris is brilliant and intimidating, and challenging her in front of the entire seminar feels like academic suicide.
Her eyes narrow on me. "Yes, Ms. Beauregard?"
"I—I have a question about the snake goddess interpretation." My voice is steadier than I feel as I start to lay out my counter-argument. The room has gone very quiet as Ispeak. Dr. Kouris is looking at me with an expression I can't quite read.
"That's an interesting point, Ms. Beauregard. But the scholarly consensus?—"
"The scholarly consensus is based on one interpretation," I interrupt, and I can't believe I'm doing this, can't believe I'm challenging her. "But he was working with Victorian assumptions about goddess worship and fertility cults. More recent scholarship suggests a more complex understanding of Minoan religious symbolism."
Dr. Kouris’s eyebrow rises. "And you think these scholars are correct?"
"I think the evidence supports a more nuanced interpretation."
Dr. Kouris opens her mouth to respond, her expression suggesting that she doesn’t think much of my argument, but Romeo speaks first.
"Ms. Beauregard is right." His voice is calm and authoritative, and I feel a tingle rush down my spine. "The archaeological context is crucial here—" He keeps talking, quoting the texts that I was using for my theory, and I can feel my heart starting to pound again.
He's citing sources. He's backing me up with actual scholarly evidence, and I feel a rush of something that's part gratitude and part excitement… and part something else I don't want to name.
Dr. Kouris looks between us, and then—surprisingly—she smiles.
"Well. It seems you two have been doing your research. You make a valid point about the archaeological context. Perhaps we should revisit the interpretation in light of more recent scholarship." She turns back to the class. "This is exactly the kind of critical thinking I want to see from all of you.Don't accept traditional interpretations just because they're traditional. Look at the evidence. Ask questions."
The seminar continues, but I'm barely paying attention. I'm too aware of Romeo sitting behind me, of the way he defended my argument, and the intellectual partnership we just demonstrated in front of the entire class.
When the seminar ends, I'm gathering my things when Romeo comes up behind me and leans close.
