“That’s true, but you have to grow with your company, Celeste. I tell you this all the time. Companies have turnover rates. That’s something you won’t be able to control. Some will come and stay, and some will come and go. It’s a part of the game. Just because some employees don’t last doesn’t mean you’re not a good leader,” she suggested.
Since Jade and I became friends in college, she’d been the person to keep me grounded and help me see the bigger picture. She had more faith in me than I had in myself at times and Ibelieved that was why God placed her in my life. My circle of support was small, but mighty. I’d never been the type to have a large quantity of friends, I liked it that way. Having one or two solid friends was worth much more than having an army behind me who couldn’t care less about my well-being. Jade was my sister and I had her back just as much as she had mine.
“I know, friend. I heard you the first time you pointed it out. I’m just terrified I’ll fail. Nothing scares me more than my life going back to how it used to be?—”
“Don’t talk like that. Trust me, I understand where you’re coming from, but times are different. You bring in more than enough money to save, which I know you’re doing. Your business is thriving and that’s all that matters right now. Don’t manifest your own downfall, silly girl. Now, come on and help me take these boxes out. I’m ready to get home to my pot roast and listen to the rest of this book I’m in the middle of.”
After getting the store straightened and the register counted, I set the alarm to leave. When we stepped outside, the chill from the night air embraced us. The season was changing and summer was trying to make its presence known. It was almost nine at night and there was still a hint of sun visible.
“Make sure you text me when you make it in. I would say call, but I don’t wanna hear that nigga mouth,” Jade stated, referring to my boyfriend.
“Girl, he’s probably not even at home. You know the studio takes priority.”
“Mmmhmm. I’ll be glad when you leave that man in the dust, but that’s another story for another day. I love you, friend, and I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be sure to be here early so I can scope out this interview,” she joked.
Chuckling, I hit the unlock button to my new Maxima and put my purse on the passenger seat before speaking again.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, girl. Erick will be here at eight-thirty since he has to work afterwards. Your ass doesn’t roll out the bed until right before we open, so I doubt you’ll see him,” I responded.
“You right. That’s early as fuck. I guess I’ll save my shit talking until he gets hired.”
I lifted my crossed fingers into the air then walked around to the driver’s side of my car. Jade and I went back and forth for a few minutes before we both pulled out of the lot. Heading in the direction of home, the only things on my mind were a hot shower and my king size bed. Tonight was one of those nights I was praying my boyfriend would have a late night at the studio. I was tired and didn’t want to be bothered. All I wanted was peace for the night. Tomorrow would be a long day and I wanted to be mentally prepared to take it on.
“Thank you, Lord,” I said aloud when the garage door lifted enough to show the empty space that held Allen’s Challenger.
Allen had several vehicles parked in the driveway, but the Challenger was his everyday car. Pulling into my rightful spot, my spirit felt lighter and my shoulders relaxed. The living room TV was on and I was grateful for the light it gave as I made my way around. Flicking the living room light on, I located the remote and turned the TV off. The subtle smell of weed lingered in the air, indicating Allen had been gone for some time now. Allen got his nickname, Spinna, from being one of the top producers in the music industry. When we first met, I had no idea who he was or his social status. He’d come into my life when I was at my lowest and I thought he was heaven sent. From expensive dates to having flowers delivered to my house daily, Allen was everything.
I could talk to him about anything and he’d listen. It didn’t matter how irrelevant the subject was, Allen was there with no hesitation. I was skeptical about going public with ourrelationship once I realized how big he was. Celebrities from all over the country knew who he was and he had over two million followers on Instagram. Financial problems had been non-existent since I’d been a part of Allen’s life. Truthfully, I’d take financial problems over the shit we had going on now.
When I made it upstairs to the master bedroom I shared with Allen, I went to my walk-in closet and came out of my shoes while simultaneously stripping myself of my jewelry. After I had my pajamas out, I left the closet and went into the bathroom. While the shower water heated, I grabbed fresh towels from the cabinet and undressed. The hot water hitting my body from every direction provided the relaxation I craved. Minutes later, my body had been cleansed of the day and my nighttime skin routine had been done. Before settling in bed, I plugged my phone into the charger and turned on the sound machine that helped me through many nights. I didn’t like the idea of relying on supplements to help me sleep, so I went to the next best thing. The sound of rain did the job every time.
I was just about to enter dreamland when I heard the bedroom door creak open. I knew what Allen’s energy felt like and knew it was him without even opening an eye. I was hoping he’d come in and leave right back out. It wasn’t even midnight, so the fact that he was already home had my mind wandering. When Allen didn’t attempt to speak within the first few seconds, I decided to try sleeping again. My eyes fluttered when I felt strong arms pulling my body. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep, but it was long enough for Allen to shower. The scent from his soap was still potent and his body wasn’t completely dry.
“Baby…baby, wake up,” he whispered into my ear.
The butterflies and adoration I once held in my heart for this man had long been replaced with annoyance and irritation. Mybody stiffened and my mental guard was up. Scooting away from him, I took his arm from around me before turning to face him.
“Celeste, can we finally get past this shit? I haven’t connected with you in months and the shit is frustrating me. The only time I’m able to hold you is when you’re asleep and I can’t even remember the last time we had sex. I feel like I been apologizing since that shit happened and I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been begging you to forgive me and now I’m all out of answers,” Allen complained, like he had a right to do so.
Laughing sarcastically, I threw the covers from my body and got out of the bed. This was the shit I wasn’t in the mood for, which was why I was hoping he’d be working all night.
“Excuse the hell out of me for not forgiving you overnight.”
“It’s been damn near a year! What do you mean overnight?”
“Until you’ve been betrayed by a person you’re deeply in love with and humiliated in front of millions of people, you’ll never understand how I feel,” I countered.
After taking my phone off the charger, I grabbed my favorite pillow and left for the guest room. This room had been my saving grace one too many times. It was once the room I’d claimed as my own before I went back to the master bedroom. Two years into our relationship, Allen and I went on a vacation with a group of his friends. One of those people happened to include an up-and-coming R&B singer named Serenity. From the moment we were introduced, I noticed her energy toward me was a little off. We didn’t know each other, so I chalked it up to our personalities not clicking. We were on night three of the trip when my world came crashing down. It was about eight of us staying in one place, with most of us being coupled up. Everyone was either drunk or had weed in the system when things got heated.
A conversation about relationships turned into Serenity admitting she had something going on with Allen. She may havehad a drunken tongue, but I knew every word she spoke was true. According to her, she and Allen’s relationship had grown since they were working closely a lot. Their bond was built on a mutual love for music and I couldn’t compete with that. From the emotion and passion in Serenity’s tone, I felt what they had was deeper than a fling.
As if the words didn’t cut me deep enough, she went on to show pictures she’d taken of her and Allen. There was no respectful way to cheat on someone, but the fact that he was looking directly in the camera for every shot was gut wrenching. Serenity wasn’t sneaking and taking these pictures and he knew that. One picture in particular sent me to the point of no return. Allen had his arms wrapped around Serenity, placing a kiss to her cheek with his eyes closed. This wasn’t a situation of my man stepping out for some pussy. My man really liked this woman and that was why we were still in this space after so long. Serenity was a beautiful woman, and from the looks of it, she had herself together.
I couldn’t lie and say I couldn’t see why Allen took an interest in her. When we returned from the trip, one of the pictures just so happened to get leaked to a blog. Since I’d been posting pictures of Allen and me while we were on the trip, the media had a field day dragging my name through the mud. I’d never read so many nasty comments about myself in my life. People I’d never met were saying how Serenity and Allen made a better couple. Of course there were a handful of people who said they were sending me prayers and expressed their empathy. The shit was so overwhelming I had to delete my social media apps for a while. The only reason I didn’t delete them completely was because of Luxe Addiction.
Like always, Jade was my saving grace and ran the store while I took a break. It was her who’d informed me that the business page had gotten an influx of followers. Allen’s cheatingscandal had made me more money than I’d ever seen and I hated that. I wanted my business to be something only I could take credit for. That was why I asked him not to promote it. I didn’t want people following me and shopping with me solely because I was tied to Spinna. I wanted my audience to shop with me because they could resonate with my product. As if enough hadn’t been done, a few months after everything went down, Serenity’s debut album was released and it hit number one on the charts. Her face and music were everywhere, reminding me daily that she had a piece of Allen’s heart. I cried so much I had no more tears left.
As far as I knew, mine and Allen’s relationship was a thing of the past. I was ashamed to admit that I was so heartbroken I’d laid hands on him. Hitting a man wasn’t something I did, but my anger had gotten the best of me. I moved out and cut all communication with Allen.
