“I used to tell my mom the same thing all the time. It would’ve been nice to have a sibling, but there were times I enjoyed being an only child.”
That was the truth. If I had a sibling, I would have someone whose pain mirrored mine. Mentally, I’d be able to share the load and not have to deal with everything on my own. Jade did her best to be there when I needed her, but her upbringing was different from mine. She could empathize, but not relate.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did your husband pass?”
“Sometimes it feels like it, but no. He’s in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.”
My heart broke for her and Shane and I couldn’t help but to turn my attention back to him. His facial expression gave nothing away, but his body language said it all. He was tight and this was probably a subject he didn’t want to speak about. Thankfully, Miss Lynn changed the subject to a much lighter topic and that was how we continued breakfast. When everyone was finished eating, I insisted Miss Lynn let me help her with cleanup. It took some doing but she eventually gave in and allowed me to do the dishes. Before saying her goodbyes, Miss Lynn informed Shane and me that she had afternoon plans. I could tell he wanted to question her, but refrained since I was here.
“Get dressed so we can leave with my mom,” Shane instructed as he walked past me and headed upstairs.
A half hour later, Shane and I were in his truck pulling out of his mother’s driveway. I fastened my seatbelt before letting my head hit the headrest in frustration. As bright and beautiful as the day was, a part of me felt gloomy. I wasn’t ready to go back to reality and didn’t want to deal with Allen.
“You want me to take you by the phone store first?” Shane’s voice broke the silence.
“You don’t have to do all of that. You’ve done more than enough. I can go to the phone store once I have my car.”
“Celeste, I’m not keeping tallies. If I’m offering to take you to the store, you don’t have to worry about if I have time.”
“I’m not trying to be difficult, but I don’t want you to feel sympathy for me. You caught me at a bad time last night and I?—”
“Don’t finish that shit. Bad time or not, we’re here and I just need a simple yes or no. I promise I’m not thinking about it that deeply,” he responded, like it was nothing.
My insecurities were showing and I needed to get my emotions under control. I still hadn’t figured out the reason, but what Shane thought of me mattered.
“Yes.”
“Okay. I wanna know what happened last night though. You was outside of a strip club about to fight. You said you own that store I brought my mom to, right?”
“Yes.”
“So why would you be out here fighting? I’m all for laying hands if you’re defending yourself, but shorty, you were the aggressor last night and that’s not a good look. You got too much to lose for all that,” he chastised.
I appreciated Shane and all he’d done for me, but I wasn’t his child. He didn’t know me like that to put me in my place. What angered me even more was that it turned me on.
“Listen, I was angry. How would you feel if you just saw pictures of your girlfriend and a nigga you knew she was cheating with on the internet?” I asked angrily.
“I would feel like that’s more of a reason to control my temper and keep myself in check. Whether I’m deep in love with a mothafucka or not, once I find out you for everybody, it’s a wrap. What the fuck is there left to fight for? Then, you just said youknewhe was cheating. Why stay?”
Folding my arms across my chest and throwing my back against the seat, I turned to the window and focused on traffic. I wasn’t upset at Shane for seeing my situation logically, I was upset because everyone thought the answer was so simple. Shane didn’t give me the vibe that he was a surface level thinker, so it shocked me when he’d responded the same way people on the internet had. The strong connection I felt to him made me feel like he should be in tune with me, but that wasn’t realistic. I felt so many emotions that I had no control over the tears that started to fall.
“Why are you cryin’, man?” Shane quizzed with concern.
I was so out of it that I hadn’t realized we were pulled to the side of the road until I heard the hazard lights.
“I’m okay. Please just take me home,” I whispered.
“Celeste, look at me.”
I took a deep breath to calm myself and wiped my face again. Once I had myself somewhat together, I granted Shane’s wish and gave him my attention.
“Listen, all this shit is confusing right now. It feels like everything between us is being done out of order. I should’ve talked to you last night, but I was trying to let you calm down and take a step back from it all. I’m not tryna lil girl you, but I wanted you to see the bigger picture. All I’m saying is don’t lose it all on behalf of someone else.”
“I know. I let my anger get the best of me and made a mistake. Thank you for stopping and getting me last night. I appreciate it and your mother is a sweet lady,” I stated, switching the topic.
Talking about Allen was the last thing I wanted to do. Out of nowhere, it hit me that if Shane had seen me arguing last night, he had to be at the club himself.
“Were you at the club last night?” I quizzed.
