Tyler saw it, too, when a rogue wolf threatened his pack, and the son he hadn’t even known was his own. Yet, he overcame the fear of not being able to protect his mate and claimed her in tonight's ceremony.
I sigh, realizing that my demons are too strong to overcome, even if it means I have to greet Delilah’s cold shoulder every time I glance at her. She sticks out from the crowd in the red dress that matches her lipstick shade, or maybe I only seeher, noticeher,because that's what it means to be a fated mate—you only have eyes for them.
Rejecting the mate bond is what allows me to tear my eyes from her again, reluctantly, but with the recognition that Nicholas is a friend in need, and he deserves my unwavering attention right now.
Before he does something he'll regret later.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Grab the left,” I tell Sean as I grab Nicholas's right arm to straighten his legs. Sean does the same, draping Nicholas's left arm over his shoulders, and we both carry him out toward the guesthouses on the outskirts of town.
“It's…not…fair…” Nicholas slurs as we drag him toward our designated thatched-roof hut. The girls, Emily and Delilah, are entering their guesthouse, and I catch Delilah's brief glance my way before she disappears into the hut.
“Yeah,” I concede as I pat his chest. “It's not fair, buddy.”
“None of it is…” he pouts as we drag him to the first room and lay him on the bed. I shake my head at him as Sean throws a thin flannel blanket over his legs, but I can't be upset with him.
I know exactly how it feels when life seems unfair.
It's unfair that I had to let Delilah go just to keep her safe.
It's unfair that she hates me for it now, as if she can't bear to look at me. Like I'm a disappointment. A failure. It's humiliating, and I feel my pulse ignite with the anger of things left unsaid between us.
She's made it abundantly clear that what we shared during black ops no longer matters to her. I shouldn't be angry with her, because I had my reasons, good reasons, to reject her.
But my inner wolf is stirring.
My inner wolf doesn't have a moral compass strong enough to stop me from going back outside. It's a beast, a primal creature who knows only hunger.
Hunger for fresh meat.
Hunger for the bare flesh of its mate.
“Stop!”I growl under my breath, chastising myself as I mentally reel in my inner wolf. The uncontrolled outburst of rage and desperate need took me as far as the guesthouse Delilah is staying in with Emily, and I catch myself just as I’m about to burst through the door.
Taking a deep breath, my ears ring with the sound of Sean's distant voice calling out to me. As the hot flash of emotion subsides with every breath, I hear my name.
“What are you doing?” Sean asks with a frown as he hangs by the door of our guesthouse.
“I, erm—” I turn toward him and point to Delilah and Emily's door, walking away as I scratch my head. “I was just checking if the girls were alright. Habit,” I shrug indifferently, and Sean's expression eases up as he chuckles.
“Missing the old days, huh?” He pats my back as I enter our guesthouse, a nervous half-chuckle dryly leaving my lips.
Sean has no idea.
I was the master of alibis when Delilah and I began sneaking around, maintaining our usual dynamic in the team to keep up appearances and ensure that we didn't complicate things in the squad. A grueling mission one night led us into each other's arms, but we couldn't risk ruining the strength of the team if they knew we were hooking up. It would have become messy, but not as messy as what has become of us now.
There's a part of me that wishes she knew why I rejected her, but she wouldn't have accepted my reasoning. I did what I had to do to keep her safe, but now I'm paying the price for it, restless and unable to fall asleep when I know she's only a few meters away from me.
My mind is at war with my inner wolf, who demands that I go to her and stake my claim because it's a birthright, but morally, I don't have any leg to stand on. I rejected her, and her hatred of me is justified.
But seeing her again, after three months that felt like a lifetime had gone by without her in my life, wreaks havoc on the peace I thought I found when I walked away from everything.
Even Delilah.
Groaning in frustration, I leave the bed I'm sleeping in to go outside, not to disrupt our lives in the early hours of the morning, but to run freely in wolf form.
My wolf is about to burst through the seams of my sanity, anyway.
