Thinking about it started to put me in my feelings. The miracle I was hoping for wasn’t happening, and I began to feel defeated. I sat up as I ran my hand down my face. “A nigga is trying. I don’t know what to do.”
Royce sat up with me. “I felt the same way when I came here to stay with my grandmother. It’s hard to care for family, especially those you don’t want to turn your back on. Why don’t you ask your friend if youcan talk to his brother and his wife? Ask the questions; maybe it can be a temporary stay until things get better for you. This is not a situation where you’re giving up on her, but rather one where you're making things better for her. This is no longer a situation of a college student but of a grown man. I believe in you, Percy.” She paused as she lay back on the bed. “Otherwise, you would have never fucked me.” She smiled.
The idea was to go another round, but the sound of Breann’s cries killed that. I thought about what she said and sent Dio a lengthy text. I wanted to meet his brother and see if this option was worth trying.
SAMARA
I watched as Zaria ran around the house, making sure the twins had everything they needed before she and Chevy left. Since I’d walked in here, she hadn’t really said too much to me. Chevy held Peace in his arms as he cried loudly.
“Peace, close your fly trap. Nigga stays crying. Plants ain’t never going to have peace with this nigga around.”
I started laughing as I watched Chevy talk to Peace as if he knew what he was saying. Even though it hadn’t been that long since Christmas break, I missed my family. Every time I came home, they reminded me why I chose to have their last name. My mother didn’t understand. She was on the outside looking in, but I was inside looking out. What I saw was a mother who was trying to destroy something that made me happy. Thinking about it made me sad because I had treated Zaria like she hadn’t been there for me since being in Toussaint. She tried to walk past me, and I grabbed her wrist.
“Zaria, can we talk?”
She looked at me and nodded. We stepped into the open kitchen as she continued to make bottles. “I want to say that I’m sorry. Not for snapping, but for bringing up my mother. She came around andgot into my head. I would never turn my back on you or Chevy. I love you guys. It was a moment of selfishness, and I am sorry.”
She stopped and turned to me. “I forgive you. I know what it’s like to have your head wrapped up in so much that everyone becomes a target; I do. I appreciate your honesty, but let me tell you this: the next time you pull some shit like that, it’ll be the last time you use those fucking lips to say anything. Samara, I love you. I love you so much that I would challenge your mother any day. However, it’s the disrespect for me. And let me tell you another thing,” she started as her head got to swinging.
Chevy almost broke his neck with the baby in his arms to get to us. “Z, baby, Savior is hungry. She gets it,” he said while pulling her arm.
“June, you sit here and go on these extended-ass lectures and you’re going to cut me off? See how much ass you get on this vacation,” she hissed as she stormed off.
All I could do was laugh. My family was chaotic, but I loved them. I did want to tell them I was taking the trip for the summer, but I didn’t want to mess up their vacation before it started, so I chose to wait.
I pulled out my phone to text Dio, then stopped. I missed him, but if what we had was love, then the universe would somehow make all of it work, or at least I hoped it would. Whether we found our way back to each other or not, I was learning to be okay with it all, and if I needed to move on, then I would.
PHOEBE
PRESS PLAY
Dinner sucked. Xavier said nothing to me, and I said nothing to him. My parents’ conversation was about a bunch of nothing. Now it was in the middle of the night, and I was sitting here, wondering what the hell he was doing in that room. Here it was, we were in the same space just as I wanted, but we weren’t even talking to each other. It was him not giving me a chance to explain that frustrated me the most, let alone the fact that he was trying to make me seem like a hoe in front of my parents. I wasn’t a hoe; I wasn’t fucking every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Even if I did, that was my business. I was being safe, and it was my fucking body. The double standard always bothered me. People were quick to judge when it came to the females, but as soon as a nigga did it, they got a pass. They were not judged as hard. Hell, they got even more girls because of it. Xavier acted as if he was not known for sleeping with more than one girl.
I tossed and turned, becoming more frustrated by the second as I let everything settle in.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
Syior had been with many women besides me, and I never feltthis bothered. He even went so far as to make comments that he thought would hurt me, but they didn’t sting as badly as Xavier’s. I hated liking him because there were two sides to the issue. One side wanted to hate him. I wanted to never talk to him again. But the other side begged for him to understand. I liked Xavier a lot, and I wanted it to work out.Acting like he doesn’t know me. The fuck?I thought. I fought with myself to stay in my room, but the more I sat in my thoughts, the more it bothered me.
I got up from the bed, slid my slippers on, pulled at my oversized shirt, and walked out of my room. I glanced down the hall where my parents’ room was. Their light was off. My head turned toward the other end of the hall to see a light creeping from the room Xavier was in. My feet began to move, being sure not to make too much noise and wake my parents. I hurried past Kyle’s room because something about being close to it drew me in. It was the only part of the house I hadn’t entered since his passing. I wasn’t ready to unleash the bottled-up feelings I desperately tried to push aside, so I ignored his room at all costs when I was home. However, I found myself standing in front of his door, my palms pressed against it. I closed my eyes as my heart sank.
“I miss you, Kyle,” I whispered.
I eased away, and I approached the room where Xavier was. My head quickly turned to look at my parents’ room again. I bit my lip and exhaled slowly through my nose as I turned the knob and gently pushed the door open.
When I entered, I was greeted with steam billowing out from the bathroom, forcing me to approach. I paused, peering through the clear spots in the fogged glass to see him. Xavier’s body was everything, but his dick was chef’s kiss. Watching him brought back memories of our sexual moments. My tongue slowly slid across my lips as I watched him like I was watching an X-rated movie. My feethad just begun to creep forward when his voice scared the fuck out of me.
“Get in.”
I froze because if I said something, it would confirm I was in the room. I tried to steady my breathing in hopes he wouldn’t be able to hear me. When he repeated himself, I knew for sure he knew I was in here.
“No.”
“You came in here to do exactly what I knew you would do. Now get in.”
“I came in here to let you know I didn’t appreciate how you talked to me earlier.”
“I didn’t appreciate how you had some nigga in your fucking face, a nigga who’s telling me what your pussy is like, so I guess were even.”
