“It makes sense why you are the way you are.”
His head flew back. “Nigga, what is that supposed to mean?”
I shook my head as I waved him off and headed back to the couch. “Man, Jesaiah, if you don’t know, then that’s the problem. You move on campus like it’s all about you. You're wrapped up in your own world, and you know nothing else around you, so if your parents were like that, I’m not surprised that you are too.”
He chuckled sarcastically. “Yeah, and you moved around campus like free passes were automatically granted to you. Like the line. You felt that because we are friends, I was instantly supposed to give you a fucking pass. Niggas who don’t work don’t eat!” he barked.
I turned to look at my daughter, who I thought would have woken up. I flicked my nose. “Okay, maybe I did, but I can take accountability. Can you? Nigga, your auntie is the dean, and before that, she worked in that office for years. I’m sure you didn’t work hard to get up in that school, so don’t come talking about free passes.”
Jesaiah’s mind was fucked up. He figured nobody would ever call him out on his bullshit. If anyone was going to, it was going to be me. I tapped at his chest. “You’re supposed to be my best friend with or without the Orange and Black. I’ve been struggling, damn near dropping out of school, because of this situation with Breann. Nah, it ain’t your fault, but you’re so gone in the head, you couldn’t even check on a nigga. Instead, your head is so far up Dio’s ass, you can’t see shit else going on around you. Let me ask you this: why does he bother you so much? Huh? Is it cause the nigga got a strong mind and won’t let you break him? Is it because you can see the future and see that maybe the organization will see something in him they didn’t see in you? You got no power, nigga. You’re a little Black boy lost like the rest of us.”
Jesaiah’s light-colored skin began to turn red. I struck a chord in his ass, and I didn’t care because he needed to hear it. He rushed me, sending me flying back.
“Nigga, fuck you!” he grumbled.
I jabbed at his ribs as he and I tussled in the living room. “Bitch nigga, my daughter in here,” I gritted as I sent my arms flying into his side and chest.
Breann’s cries filled the room. Jesaiah and I were tossing that living room up. “You don’t know shit about me, fuck nigga.”
I hit his ass again before putting his head in a chokehold. “Calm yo ass down!” I barked. “You’re lucky I’m sparing you because my daughter is here.”
He tried getting out of the lock I had around his neck. “Get the fuck out of my house! This is my fucking house. Fuck you!” he shouted with spit flying from his mouth.
Although Ms. Cecily let me stay here, he was right. I let his ass go, sending him crashing to the floor. I grabbed my keys, making sure to leave the house key on the table. I picked up my screaming daughter, grabbed a bag of our stuff, and left. A nigga only had to tell me once. I wasn’t sure why I thought he would be the one to lift me up. We were running the same course; the only difference was that I had a child, and he didn’t.
Jesaiah was treading a fine line, and his days were numbered because any nigga who walked around without a heart wasn’t going to live long. College was supposed to be one of the catalysts to build us up, but for some, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and Jesaiah was a product of it. I was more determined than ever to prove that good things could come out of bad situations. I was going to make it through the spring semester; I already knew what I had to do.
I glanced in the back seat at my daughter, who’d finally calmed down. I texted Royce and told her to meet me at the BlueCafé. I then called a number that had been staring me in the face for the last couple of days. It rang a few times, and someone picked up.
“Hello, thank you for calling There is Hope Adoption Agency. This is Francine. How can I help you?” she greeted me.
I clung to the phone. I knew this was best for my daughter, but I just hoped she would forgive me when or if I ever got the chance to explain.
CECILY’S INTERLUDE
“
I was thinking we could have the students on campus be the highlight of Black Excellence Day,” Apple said to me.
I smiled widely. “That sounds perfect. You seemed to be doing better,” I replied.
She gave me a weak smile. “I’m okay. I have a friend helping me through it all, but I’m still bothered by Jesaiah. I’m not sure what it is, Dean Cecily, but he has kind of destroyed me in a way I feel like it’s hard to come back from.”
I knew the feeling all too well. Toussaint State University was shrouded in darkness that it couldn’t dispel, and that was the curse of the Merciers. I had become a victim of it when I fell for Clark’s bullshit. I, too, had chased him around campus like a lost soul, trying to figure myself out. I wanted to be the smart, dainty sorority girl who fell in love with the fraternity president. Instead, I was the girl who was used, docile, and gullible, and I found myself losing every bit of my mind over a man who didn’t want me.
When Clark graduated a year before me, he moved to California, where he met his now wife, Cynthia. Did it hurt? Yes. However, it saved me from a lifetime of pain, and that’s what I wanted Apple tosee. The only difference between her and me is that I was going to help her, not sit alongside a person who destroyed them for over ten years.
I stood from my desk and walked around to her. “Apple, you focus on you. Focus on your reason for being at this school. Don’t allow Jesaiah to put you in a place where it gets really dark. Now, could you give me a list of all the students you have in mind for this event? Gather your sisters, this is a moment for all of you to showcase what the is about. I believe in you. Spring semester is ahead, enjoy it.”
After my short meeting with her, I was becoming more confident that my saving souls seemed much easier than saving an entire school. Apple was on the road to becoming a better woman, Samara had become a great intern, Dionysus was fighting to become a great Chi man despite what I’ve been told, I recommended Hendricks to the athletic department and heard he will be helping Xavier, and Percy was doing the unthinkable by managing fatherhood and school.
I was building chemistry with the students one at a time. This may not have been enough for the board, but for me it meant a lot.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
PRESS PLAY
I honked the horn, waiting for Phoebe to come outside. I didn’t tell her where we were going, but I was taking her out. I wanted to give this thing we were doing a chance, and yes, the sex was good, but I wanted to take her out and show her off. When she came outside, she looked good. She wore a long black dress that showed her curves. Her accessories were a combination of bracelets and chains, they gave her plain dress some life. Her hair was big and fluffy, and she wore just a little makeup. She hurried and hopped in the car, sending her sweet perfume flying directly in my nose. “Hey baby,” she cooed.
