It all sounded good. However, I needed something instant; doing that would take time, and I didn’t have that. “Royce, it’s not that easy. I have a daughter who’s depending on me. Her momma ain’t shit. My Nan, she’s home, but she isn’t in a state where she can take care of my daughter. A nigga made this bed, so he gone lay it.”
“Where are you now?” she asked.
I glanced around. “Shit, in the school parking lot.”
“Come to me, or I can come to you,” she muttered.
I wasn’t sure why she cared so much, and she barely knew me; maybe it was that southern belle type shit. While trying to decide if I was going to go see her or stay here, my eyes wandered the parking lot, spotting Dean August walking to her car. I took a quick look in the back seat at my daughter, who was still sleeping, then at Dean August.
“Royce, let me call you back. I promise I will,” I said and hung up.
I rolled the window down a little and quickly hopped out. I jogged across the parking lot, trying to catch the dean, or, for me, Ms. Cecily. “Dean August!” I yelled.
She turned to look at me, holding a smile on her face. “Percy, I haven’t seen you in a while. Why don’t you stop by the house for dinner anymore?”
The reason was simple: it was because Jesaiah and I kind of fell off. I wanted to do the small talk, but I didn’t have it in me. “Things have been happening. I—” I paused as I looked back at my car, “—I have a problem. I have a daughter, and—”
“Wait. When did you have a baby?”
I scratched the back of my head. “Long story, but she’s one. I wanted to ask you if there is any daycare or program that can help me. I’m only asking because if I cannot find anyone or any resources, I’m going to have to drop out, and that will be the end of my scholarship.”
Her eyes were filled with sadness. She understood how much effort I had put in since my freshman year, even during the year I was injured. She encouraged me to stay focused, recover, and stay on course. She almost saved my scholarship the first time. Now, I found myself once again needing her assistance. Ms. Cecily was a great woman, who reminded me a lot of my Nan. I knew if no one else had the answer, she would.
“Where is the child’s mother? She goes here?”
I glanced back at my car. “Nah. She lives back in Cedar Oaks.”
Her lips tightened as she gave me a slight nod. “I will look into it for you and let you know. You know, we make these beds and don’t realize what it looks like on the other side until it’s time to lie in them. That’s when we realize the bed should never have been made. Percy, I don’t doubt that you love your child, and I know school is important to you, but have you considered what’s best for that child? Now, I’m not saying you can’t be a father, but there are people out there who will love her just as much as you do while giving her everything she needs.”
I knew what she was alluding to, but I didn’t want to do that. “You mean just as you and Jesaiah are?”
She let out a sharp breath. “Maybe we can find a way that will allow you to care for her and attend school part-time. Now, I can’tpromise you’ll still be able to participate in football, but I can see to it that you still get your education.”
Hearing her basically say I was practically going to lose my scholarship hurt; however, being able to truly move forward and do something with myself was a relief.
She glanced down at her keyring and pulled one off. “Two houses down from mine to the right. The brick house. Don’t ask; just go. I see you keep looking at your car, and I know you can’t take a child in those dorms. I’ll come by and make sure you have what you need. How can we expect excellence when we’re not pouring into those we expect to be excellent?”
A nigga hadn’t cried since finding out I had gotten accepted into a college, but Dean August had me feeling soft. A tear rolled down my face as I closed my hand around the key. “How is Jesaiah even your nephew? You two can’t be cut from the same cloth.”
She smiled. “Everyone can’t be saved.” She winked and got into her car.
I watched as she safely backed out and drove off. Shit wasn’t perfect, but at least I knew it would be alright. I hurried back to my car to see my daughter still sleeping. I unlocked the door and got in. Moments later, the passenger side opened.
“I figured I’d come to you. Look, I know I was being tough shit before, but I don’t want to see you drop out. We need Black men, and it’s going to be hard, but I will help when I can,” Royce said.
I chuckled. “All that shit sounds good, but Breann is my responsibility, not yours. You have enough on your plate. If I can have one ask, it would be that you just be a nigga’s friend along the way.”
I could see her blushing, and that made me feel good. I knew this was the start of a new life for me, but I also knew this shit wasn’t going to be easy.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The professor dropped my paper on my desk. I didn’t want to look at the grade because I wasn’t sure what to expect. I hated having the same professor as last semester. Since deciding to actually try, I knew there would be many differences between what I gave and what Jalen did for me. I let out a sharp breath and flipped it over. When I saw the B-, I felt a little relief, but it was the note on the side that fucked me up.
The wording is very different from what you sent me last semester in Ethics. This is good, but you can do better.
At first, the hardest part was studying enough to pass the test because, essentially, I had to take them. Now, there was more pressure because I was actually doing the work. I didn’t even complain about the B-; instead, I took it for what it was and knew it was time to really focus. We were approaching spring break, and a lot had changed. From Percy no longer being my roommate and barely seeing Dio, to Phoebe and me spending more time together.
I wanted to walk away from her that night. I did, but after what she told me, I questioned whether to leave. It also made me realize I hadn’t fully healed from my own struggles. I hadn’t processed mymother’s death or Mison’s alcoholism and accident. Instead, I clung desperately to basketball, hoping that when we had the money, it would resolve everything, even though I knew that was far from the truth. A nigga made some bad decisions along the way, and now my only thoughts were of how I could make it up to those I’d taken advantage of. I knew the response time wouldn’t be instant, but when Jalen told me he applied for the fall semester, the eagerness to know if he had gotten in weighed heavily on me.
