“Sup?” he mumbled.
I didn’t even bother to respond as I sat on my bed, relieving the pressure on my foot. “I told them I didn’t want a roommate,” I muttered.
He glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah, well, neither did I, but I guess being an athlete doesn’t always get us what we want.”
I waved his ass off. “Shit, that’s what you think.”
He shrugged. “Look, I’m not here to be your friend. I’m riding on a scholarship just like you. I'm not in the business of arguing with a nigga about a room neither one of us owns. I got bigger issues.”
I pointed at him as my finger shook. “Percy Milton, defensive end. The ladies’ man, the man with field power. The nigga who talks a lot of shit but hasn’t moved anything. The same nigga who rides on his best friend’s coat tail.”
He slowly turned to me. “Xavier Keyton, six-foot-eight height and no flight. The number one shooting guard that Toussaint State has to offer. Sometimes he can play small forward, but we all know the nigga starts crying like a bitch when he doesn’t get his way. The same nigga who’s probably slept with every girl in that hall, but now he’s at the mercy of the Lord, praying for healing.”
I lay back on my bed thinking about what the nigga said. Thefirst thing that came to mind was to hit his ass, but all that would’ve done was put me in a much worse position than I was already in. I guessed that as quickly as I judged him, he had done it to me. This dormmate shit wasn’t going to work. As soon as I got up with my coach tomorrow, I was going to let him know that one of us had to go.
PHOEBE
My eyes fluttered open, my star ceiling greeting me. A bit of excitement rushed through me, as today was the day I headed to campus and away from here. I got out of bed and did my morning routine. I slid on my riding pants and a hoodie before leaving my room.
I went downstairs. The first thing that always stood out was the white. My mother’s all-white aesthetic was nowhere near as therapeutic as she thought. The brightness it gave the house was superficial. She came from the kitchen as I stepped further inside.
“Hey, sweetie.” She smiled.
My mother’s light eyes brightened as she hugged me. She pulled away and stroked my face. “I love when you wear your hair in a ponytail. That’s when all your features shine bright,” she said to me.
My eyes were as light as hers, my freckles almost identical, but my complexion, attitude, and mouth came from my father. I walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed something to drink.
“Phoebe!” my mother yelled.
I quickly closed the fridge to look at her. “What?”
“Black nails? When did you decide to paint your nails black?”
I had forgotten to change my polish before coming down here.Shit!The trick with my parents was to wear light colors, look fresh, and speak with great vernacular.
I tried to play it off. “You don’t like it? I was trying something different.”
She eyed me curiously. “I mean, it’s okay, but pink and white have always been your colors. You know the big matches are coming up soon, and—”
“I know, and I will be ready. The team is counting on me. I get it. I was actually heading to the barn to take Monk for a go.”
She hated when I cut her off, but it was the pressure. The pressure drove me insane.
Moments later, my father came into the kitchen. “There is my sweet girl,” he said before walking over to me and hugging me tightly. “I know school starts tomorrow, the big spring semester. Are you ready?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I mean, nothing has changed since the fall semester except the classes. I was thinking maybe I could take the year off from the Polo matches.”
Both my parents looked at me like I had shit on my forehead. Quitting something they had invested years in wasn’t an option. My father owned the arena in which most of the matches were held. His side bets on my matches had won him so much money. I knew he loved me, but I was also a golden ticket, and because of that, he wouldn’t allow me to be free to explore what I wanted, especially since the passing of my brother.
Kyle was a prodigy. He was a few years older than me and an excellent player. He was the primary offensive player, and his name within the Polo community was big. It made my father so proud. Kyle was my best friend. I knew how hard he worked to be the light of my parents’ eyes, so he stuck with it even when he didn’t want to. Until he got caught up with people from the East End. He wasthe one who told me all about it.
He was the one who told me there was so much more out there for me to explore. There was a side of history that I had been sheltered from, and I should embrace what the culture had to offer. I was a Black girl with a white girl’s dream and needed to see what that side looked like to determine whether the path I was headed down was a good fit.
The year he was to transfer from Hillsdale University to Toussaint State, he died. His death took our family by storm, and ever since then, I had become my parents' centerpiece. It was draining, sick, and sad. My parents had gotten lost in it all, and I had become the casualty.
So, the way I coped with everything was dark and unethical. If my parents knew the Phoebe I truly was, shame would have been upon me, so I dealt with it.
I didn’t bother to say much more to my parents as I headed out back to the barn. When I reached it, the horses reacted to my presence, and it felt good. I rubbed and cooed at them until I reached Monk. He was special. He was the perfect riding pony and my solace away from the house when I didn’t want to be bothered. He and I won many trophies together, but I knew he was just as tired as me. I didn’t want to leave him, but school was starting back, and that piece of me that was dying to be let out was about to have the chance to roam free until my summer break.
