“You sure you’re ready?” my coach asked.
“Only one way to find out,” I told him.
He checked me the ball. “We’ll start off with light drills and work our way up. Cool?”
I nodded. “Cool.”
I’d missed March Madness, but it was cool. I was finally back on the court preparing for next season. I was ready to work harder than I had ever before. However, I knew God did it all for a reason, and I was happy He did because not only did I appreciate the love of basketball more, but now I also knew my worth.
SAMARA
PRESS PLAY
“Alyse, girl, you did an amazing job,” I squealed.
We stood on the stage that was set up in the middle of the yard. It was Black Excellence Day, and when Alyse told us she was taking over, I couldn’t believe it.
She turned to me, smiling. “I would take all credit, but the Gray and Gold helped with this, too. Apple started it, but I just helped finish.”
I watched her say it with pride. If I had to guess, she, too, wanted to be a part of the Gray and Gold. It was amazing how influence ran rampant throughout the campus. Some were good influences, others were bad, but I guess it made people who they are.
As the crowd started to get thicker going to each booth, I hurried off the stage and rushed over to mine. Each piece of artwork I created was displayed on the outside of my booth. They told a story that bridged the gap between the trials of college and becoming something greater than words. Each picture held a color that explained what I was trying to convey, from white, which was starting with a blank canvas, to blue, which stirred in the troubles, to black, whichwas the dark spaces each of us went through to get to the final color, orange, which expressed transformation.
I learned over the course of this semester that the school’s mission didn’t mean you had to be the perfect student or speak about your accomplishments. The school’s mission was simply personal to each student who attended TSU. It was a personal commitment you, as the student, needed to embrace to understand that you are your own source of excellence. It’s beyond the book, beyond campus, and beyond relationships. It’s something you should strive for because your Blackness is what makes you excellent.
My eyes slowly landed on Apple as she and the Gray and Gold gave out food bags to the students. When she looked at me and smiled, because just as we were all proud, so was she.
The music lowered, and the voice of Ms. August greeted us on the mic. It was sad to know her time as dean was up. She was the reason for all of this. I watched her from time to time on campus, and she poured into the students in a way that you knew she cared. So, to see that they didn’t fully trust her enough to keep her in that position sucked. Not to mention all the side eyes and snarls I had gotten from Clark, which was irritating, but I just jotted it down in my book, so when I presented it to Chevy, I’m sure he knew what to do with it.
I gave Cecily all my attention as she addressed everyone who was listening in the yard.
APPLE
I watched as the yard was filled with Black greatness. I almost cried at how beautiful everything turned out. Part of why I was feeling emotional was because I missed the chance to make such a wonderful day even better, but I'm glad Alyse and the Gray and Gold truly stepped up. It was almost bittersweet to be leaving the campus that had shaped and shifted me.
Even though we were giving out mini bags of groceries to the students, I had slid in a pamphlet on awareness of safe sex. The thought of the close call continued to play in my head over and over. The idea of me leaving silently wasn’t an option, so the pamphlets were my voice.
When Ms. August took to the mic, I directed my attention toward the stage.
“This is so amazing. Thank you to the Gray and Gold and your Queen of the Chi, Alyse Maverick, for stepping in to make today possible,” she said, turning toward our booth. She gave a proud smile and continued. “Apple Timothy, a young Black, beautiful, intelligent woman. She is the reason I am standing up here today. She is one of the highlights of this campus, but I see a lot of myself in her. Whethergood or bad, but the fight she has in her is what counts. To all the students of TSU, today isn’t just about enjoying the good food or the band. It's about each student who had the courage to show up and display what they feel could be useful to those who are scared to step forward. Each of you has a choice. A choice that can determine where your future is headed. Don’t wait until it's too late to change. Don’t wait until your back is against the wall, and don’t let your past hinder the greater you. Now I know some of you will listen while others will walk away from this opportunity as if it’s just another day. However, I want you all to know that being excellent isn’t about showing off or saying you are summa cum laude. It is the struggle to strive for greatness. You all have a story waiting to be told, and through that story, people will see what makes you great. You are the excellence, you’re just doing it while being Black. Although I am no longer the dean, I want you to know I will always be here if you—” she said, then looked at me. “—Need an open ear. Here is to all of you beautiful Black students that deserves everything!”
The students cheered, then screamed in unison. “If you ain’t know this is a TSU show!”
“Yee-ee-oop!”I shouted.
The Gray and Gold came up behind me and followed. Reagan was the only one who hadn’t said much. She looked lost. My first thought was not to care, because it was clear she hated me in some way, but I knew what it felt like to be lost in your feelings with no one to talk to.
I made my way over toward her. Before I could say anything, she turned to me, “Can I talk to you over there?” She pointed to the outside of the booth.
I gave her a nod and followed behind her. As soon as wewere away from everyone, she looked up at me with sadness in her eyes. “Did you know?” she asked.
Confused, I replied. “Know what?”
“About Jesaiah?”
“About him dying?”
Her face had gone from sad to angry. She handed me one of the pamphlets that I placed in each student’s bag about safe sex. “That he had HIV!?” she nearly shouted.
