My pussy began thumping, and I knew I was about to cum. His body jolted, and so did mine. Suddenly, our bodies locked, shook, and as loud as he grunted, I screamed.
We lay in the bed under the flickering orange lights with my fingers entangled with his.
“Did I go through like... an initiation?” I asked.
“Nah, we just fucked.”
I knew he was lying, but I let it be. “Xavier?”
“Sup?”
“Thank you for being there for me. Not just with Monk, but through all of it.”
He leaned down and kissed my face. “Thank you for allowing me to be. I know this whole shit with the cutting doesn’t just go away overnight, but I hope that as we grow closer, you can trust me enough to talk it through instead of cutting. Also—” he paused, “—I want to apologize for my insults. I know I said some fucked up things, and it wasn’t sensitive to what you were going through.”
I knew I couldn’t expect everyone to understand why I did it or what I felt was right about it. I appreciated him apologizing. I knew I still had things to work through, but having him around made me feel like I wasn’t going through it alone. The space fell quiet as we just lay there.
“I love you,” we said in unison.
We looked at each other and laughed. “Let’s get some sleep. A nigga got to get up and clean all this shit up before your pops get back.”
I lifted my head to glance at the table. “What were you doing with the cylinders? Did I miss something?”
He yawned. “Shit, I don’t know. It looked good. It’s props and shit.”
I laughed as I lay back down. Xavier was definitely my person. This was something Syior would never have given me: peace.
CHAPTER TWENTY -NINE
Harlem and I sat on the couch staring at each other. Since finding out about Jesaiah having HIV and getting tested, my nerves had been so bad. I couldn’t even focus on anything. I’d felt so bad because, although I had been using protection, knowing I could have still passed it off to Harlem made me feel like a murderer.
We both stared at the papers on the table. “You ready?” he asked.
I nodded. We reached out and grabbed the papers, but before flipping them over, I placed my hand on his. “Harlem, I swear I didn’t know, and if—”
He cut me off. “Honestly, I just want to know. I’m not mad at you because the choice for us to be intimate was mutual, but I’m not naive either. I know condoms aren’t always safe, so let’s just look at.”
I was happy he understood, but I was looking for security that he and I wouldn’t end because of it. I wanted to say more but decided against it. I looked at him as he looked at me. At the same time, we flipped the paper, and my eyes scanned over mine. When I saw the results, tears fell from my eyes. I looked at Harlem as he still looked over the paper. He then set it on the table and rested his head on the back of the couch, blowing out a sharp breath.
“Thank God,” he mumbled.
Mine was negative, and I knew his was too.
The tears were from happiness, but I knew that to be sure, in a few months I would need to check again. To me, this was a lesson that it didn’t matter what a man said in my ear; it was better to be safe than sorry. I thought about the girls who roamed the campus and weren’t as lucky as I was. I was sure Jesaiah had slept with a few, and if I knew who they were, I would warn them. However, I would no longer have to worry about it because I was about to accept Harlem’s offer.
I scooted closer to him. “I want to go with you to Hillsdale if the offer is still available,” I whispered.
He pulled me in, wrapping his arms around me. “You sure?” he asked.
With everything I’d been through, I was ready to take my ass somewhere else. “Yes.”
My sorority was a forever thing, and wherever I traveled, I would always be part of the Gray and Gold. Even at Hillsdale, the fact would still remain that I was a product of an HBCU. I’d dedicated a lot of time to TSU, and now it was time to take my Black Excellence and pour it onto a campus that knew nothing of the culture.
PERCY
I stepped into the weight room, and all eyes were on me. My coach gave me a simple head nod as I walked over to the bench press. I was preparing for my set when one of the players came over to me.
“You heard what happened to Jesaiah? They found that guy floating in the lake. Said he was robbed and stabbed. Sorry, bud. I know y’all were close.”
