“Come on,” I said as I led him toward the house.
When we finally made it closer, I noticed my parents’ car was gone. As we entered the house, I led him up the steps to Kyle’s room.
“If I’m going to do this, I need you here with me. I’m not asking you for pity, just to be here, okay?” I told him.
He nodded. “Okay.”
I closed my eyes as I gripped the knob and slowly eased the door open. The hazy darkness stilled as we walked inside. The smell of Kyle lingered, as his room was just as he left it that night. The bag I had dropped sat in the very same spot. I felt sick, my knees became weak, and the feeling of his sadness smothered me.
“Are you okay?” I heard Xavier ask.
I walked to my brother’s bed and sat down. My hand ran over his sheets as I tried picking up some form of happiness, but I couldn’t. Tears streamed down my face.
“He was suffering both mentally and physically. My brother struggled with addiction, haunted by dark demons he couldn’t escape. All he wanted was to make our parents proud, but—” Isobbed, “—there was something living inside him that he couldn’t let free.”
Xavier came toward me. “I’m sure your parents were proud of him. He just couldn’t see it.”
I shook my head. “No,theydidn’t. If they did, they would have known. Not just the Polo Player Kyle, but they would have seen all of him. I-I-I miss my fucking brother,” I wailed.
Xavier tried to comfort me, but I couldn’t get myself together. “I want to be alone, please,” I cried.
“I’m not leaving you like this.”
“Get out. It’s not like you fucking care because if you did, you wouldn’t say some of the shit that comes out of your mouth. One minute, you care; next minute, you don’t. This is what I look like under it all, and you... you're just a nigga who cares about you and no one around!” I snapped.
Being in this room began to stir up strong emotions I couldn’t control. Xavier stood there looking at me like he wanted to say something, but right now, I didn’t want to hear anything. He had said enough, and now that I chose to try to close a chapter, everyone and everything was a target, whether intentional or unintentional.
“Just let me be alone. You would never understand!”
He slowly backed away. “I’ll be outside the door, Phoebe. I’m right fucking here. Don’t do it, please,” I heard him say as he disappeared behind the door before closing it.
I sobbed from guilt. I sobbed from hurt. I sobbed for my best friend. I curled up in his bed and cried. I gripped his pillow and pulled it down to me before I felt something. I slowly lifted to see what it was. I wiped my eyes to see it was a picture. I sat up straight, wiping the falling tears. When I glanced at the picture again, anger filled me.
“What the fuck?” I muttered.
It was a picture of Kyle, Dr. Ivory, and fucking Syior. I got upfrom the bed and stormed to the door, swinging it open to see Xavier standing there as promised. I went around him.
“I’ve got to go,” I mumbled.
I rushed down the steps, snatched my keys, and left out the front door.
“Phoebe!” I heard Xavier shout.
I stopped to look at him standing at the door. “You got a nigga using his bad leg. I’m going with you.”
I didn’t care if he came or stayed. Syior was about to see me. Xavier hurried as fast as he could and got in. As soon as he closed the door, I took off.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I watched over my shoulder as we crept up to the window. “You sure ain’t nobody here?”
Apple smacked her lips as she shoved me closer. I cut my eyes at her. “Girl, don’t put your fucking hands on me.”
“I told you they are all at Hoodoo’s. Now come on before he texts you to meet.”
Apple decided that sneaking into this nigga’s place to try to find something was a good idea. My mind was kind of all over the place. The idea of crossing soon and Samara not calling me back had me all fucked up. She hadn’t been anywhere because the tracker showed she was still at Chev’s. I knew we weren’t back together, but damn.
I focused on the window, popped the screen, and lifted it wide enough to squeeze in. I turned to Apple.
