She shrugged. “I don’t know. It seemed like something more to me. It’s like all the girls have this connection with their men in a different way.”
“This could be true, but what you and I have is different from everyone else. Mars, your title as my woman is different from theirs, but I get you.”
She turned her head to look away. “If you say so,” she mumbled.
I didn’t want to dismiss her feelings, but what I needed to say next was much more important than a fucking Orange Light Special. I was trying to figure out how to tell her that once I walked out of the house in the morning, I wouldn’t be coming back until the semester was over.
I ran my hand over my face. “Mars, I need to tell you something,” I muttered.
She didn’t bother to look at me. “What?”
I let out a sharp breath. “I-I’m moving out for the semester. I—”
Her head snapped my way. “Why?”
I sighed. “It’s just something I need to do. Look, I don’t want you to think I don’t love you because I do. I just need this time. It’s still you and me. I just have to move a little differently.”
She said nothing, but for a second, I thought I heard her sniffle.Man, shit!“Samara, baby, look at me.”
I didn’t want her to cry, but it was too late. The goal wasn’t to disappoint her, but I knew she didn’t understand either. Samara got out of bed and headed out of the room.
“Fuck!” I shouted.
I wanted to tell her that I was joining a fraternity and that this was part of the rules, but I couldn’t. I could only make up some dumb-ass excuse as to why I wouldn’t be holding her at the end of the night. This was the part of the relationship that I didn’t like. The part where miscommunication came in and wreaked havoc in my life. However, I chose this, and because I did, I needed to chuck it up. I was doing this not only to prove something to myself but also to prove it to my brother. I had been through a lot, even close to death, and this was bigger than the Zoo, bigger than being accepted into college; this was a life-changing thing. So, if she just held on a little bit longer, the outcome would be a better man for her and me.
Did I fear that she would get wrapped up in the college life and cheat on me? No. What I did know was this was a test to see if we could withstand small shit like this. To me, she was my forever person, but was I hers?
CHAPTER THREE
Bag, water, art supplies, keys, shoes, and a bagel,I noted as I moved through my place before leaving. I found myself in a routine each morning, and since coming out of winter break, I had been a little sluggish. It was the first day of the spring semester as a freshman. The first semester was okay, but with so much going on back home, I barely passed. I didn’t want to disappoint my mom or dad by blowing this opportunity, so I was determined to make up for it this semester.
However, after the night I had with Dio, I tried to convince myself that everything would be alright. His sudden decision to move off campus made me feel as if I had done something wrong, and I refused to accept that. I simply wanted to know what the hell the other girls were getting that I wasn’t. I began questioning all the choices I had made, including allowing him to move into my space.Was Chevy right?
Dionysus came out of the room in his black sweatpants and a hoodie, holding two duffel bags in his hand. I stood there staring at him. I wanted to say something, but what was there to say to a person who pushed you away? Was I wrong for wanting to be selfish andhave him here with me? He approached me, trying to kiss me, but I pulled away. He looked at me like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t; instead, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.
“I love you, Mars the Star,” he said as he walked out the door.
Since Dio and I moved in together last summer, things had been in a honeymoon phase for me. That was until I noticed things happening within the Zoo. All the women who came around seemed to be on some sort of trial period until they were initiated. When I asked Dio about it, he made it seem like I didn’t know what I was talking about, and that irritated me. Maybe my being pressed about something that wasn’t meant for me was the problem.
I couldn’t wrap my mind around how things changed overnight. My heart was broken, but I was also angry. I decided to take my mind off that and focus on other things, like my mother and school.
When I left New York and arrived in Toussaint, I saw it as a reset. I had gone from struggling to survive to having everything I needed thanks to Chevy and Zaria. Dio making arrangements for me here was one of the best things that could have happened.
However, when I parted from my mother, I believed she would find her way out of the cult. She had been immersed in that world for years, and since I told her I didn't want to go with her, I hoped she would open her eyes and leave. After some time in Toussaint, I wrote to her using the last address I had on her just to reassure her that I was okay. But when she showed up on Christmas, still dressed in plain garments, I knew she was still part of Shine Your Light.
I had since changed my last name from Simmino to Calloway. I had been accepted into college, had the man of my dreams, and didn’t want her to ruin it for me. I was more concerned about how Chevy and Zaria were taking the news, since I was like a daughter to them. Chevy paid my tuition and got me a car and the apartment Dio and I shared. I had a set of twin brothers who adored their big sister back in Lake Hill, so my biological mom beingaround trying to shift things was a lot. Being twenty as a freshman, adjusting to college life, and trying to maintain a healthy relationship put a lot of pressure on me. I’d always wondered how people’s home lives affected their school lives, and I guessed I would soon find out.
I hurried up, locked the door, and headed out of my apartment complex. I didn’t live far from campus, which made it easier for me to leave the house only minutes before class started, but today I was late as hell. I swooped into the parking lot, parked quickly, and got out.
The campus was packed. So many things were happening that I felt lost. The campus activities were fucking distracting. From loud music playing from the DJ to people hanging around to the peddling of small vendors. I moved through the crowd, trying my best not to get sucked up in it all. Once I found a break in the crowd, I hauled ass across the yard until I reached my building.
When I reached my class, I stopped as I tried to catch my breath before I went inside. I swung the door open as the professor was speaking. I came in through the back, hurried down the steps, and slid into a seat.
“First day of class and you already have a strike with me, Miss—” He paused as he turned around to look at his paper, “—Calloway,” he said as he had now looked up at me.
The way my body shrank into the seat was obvious. “How the hell did he know who I was?” I said barely above a whisper. “Sorry,” I then said so he could hear me.
He removed his glasses from his face. “Don’t be sorry; be on time. Now, where was I?”
