“Look at Professor Grief over here,” he teases lightly, pulling me into a half hug. “You shower today?”
“Barely,” I mutter.
Knox claps my shoulder on his way to the bar cart. “Good. We don’t trust men who too put together.”
Maverick and James Jr follow behind him as CJ trails him with a deck of cards already in his hand.
“Table’s ready,” CJ announces like he owns the mortgage.
Within minutes, the poker table is set up. Chips stacked. Cards shuffled. Scotch poured.
I don’t drink much these days but tonight I let the amber burn settle into my chest. It doesn’t erase anything. It just softens the edges. For a few hands, nobody brings up Lena. They let me laugh and lose money. I argue about bad hands and bluff terribly.
Ahmir throws his head back laughing when I fold too early.
“Grief got you playing scared too?” he jokes.
“Nigga shut up,” I fire back.
It feels good to say something that isn’t heavy. After my second scotch, the laughter comes easier. Caleb watches me over the rim of his glass.
Satisfied.
But eventually, the conversation shifts. I don’t expect anything less.
Maverick leans back in his chair, serious now. “You know you’re not in this alone, right?”
I nod slowly.
“We loved Lena too,” Knox adds quietly. “That wasn’t just your loss.”
James Jr flicks a chip between his fingers.
“And Ajaih,” Maverick continues, “she’s taking it hard. That was her baby sister. She’s filled with regret wishing they’d connected sooner.”
I sigh.
“I know.”
“She won’t say it,” Knox says, “but she feels like she’s supposed to be strong for everybody.”
Maverick points at me with two fingers. “Call her.”
“I will.”
James Jr clears his throat. “And Amiyah,” he adds. “That was her best friend. Don’t assume she’s good just because she’s smiling.”
I glance at him.
“She could use your love too,” he says plainly. “Don’t disappear into your own grief so deep that you forget others are grieving too.”
I nod again.
He’s right.
Ahmir takes a slow sip of his drink. “And lean on Kim and Pastor,” he adds. “They spiritually grounded as hell. They don’t run from hard seasons.”
Caleb adds. “Pastor told me he’s been checking on you weekly.”
