“You don’t want to hear about how hard my dick was?” I joke just to get under his skin.
“That’s what I get for asking.” He huffs. “But seriously, what’s going on between you two, and don’t say you’re friends because all of Ruby Lake knows that’s a damn lie.”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “Miles… I really like her. Likereallylike her and I don’t know what to do with that. I know if I was staying, I would make her my girlfriend without hesitation but knowing I’m leaving… I can’t do that to her. Thinking about leaving and the thought of her with anyone that isn’t me… I hate it.”
“Why can’t you do long distance? You’ll live like what, three to four hours away?”
“But what happens when she wants to stay and I can’t leave Seattle?”
“But what if she wants to leave or you find a way to stay? There’s always a positive to every negative.”
“I know you’re right.” I sigh. “As honored as I am to be here and help you, she’s really made this summer one I’ll always remember.” I think about my lunch breaks at Ruby’s Diner just to see her, the many times we’ve ran into each other at Lakeside Grounds, how welcoming her friends and family are to me—she’s becoming a constant in my life. “I’m scared that I’m falling in love with her while also being scared about ruining the friendship we have.”
“I don’t think the things you guys are doing should be considered friendly.” He chuckles, breaking the seriousness of this conversation. “I think you guys should talk about your feelings, I don’t want what happened to me to happen to you.”
“What happened anyway? I’ve never known you to fall this deep for a girl.”
“I did what you’re doing and I don’t want you regretting letting her go thinking it’s what’s best. I let Jo go. Actuallyghosting her, which is worse, thinking that’s what was for the better and not thinking about what I wanted.” I hear a heavy breath leave him. “Even if it was just a weekend, I’ve never met someone like her.”
“I’m sorry,” I sympathize. “Sometimes when we let things go, they come back to us. Maybe that’s the universe’s plan for you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he sighs, “but less about me, back to you.”
“We have one more item to check off his bucket list.” I remember. “Maybe I’ll bring it up then. Being more than friends.”
“I think you should. The worst thing that could happen is she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, but I don’t think that’s how it’ll end. At least from how I’ve seen you two around each other."
“Thank you,” I say. “I think I needed this conversation.”
“What are best friends for if not calling you on your bullshit?”
“So wearebest friends!” I grin, and he huffs with a smile on his face.
“All that aside, I think I’m going to post some ads for job openings in the next week or so.” Miles changes the subject. “I need housekeepers, a receptionist, and a bookkeeper to start. Probably some other positions I haven’t thought of yet. I’d do the books myself but I feel like I’ll have too much on my hands for that.”
“I think that’s a good idea, especially since we’re almost done.”
“Speaking of almost done, have you been looking at jobs during your down time?”
“I’ve applied to some and haven’t heard back. I don’t know,” I sigh, “being here makes me wonder if staying in the city is what I really want, you know?”
“You know I’ve always hated the city, which is why I stayed here when my parents moved out there,” he mumbles somethingabout their divorce under his breath that I barely hear. “I have this even more negative connotation with it now.”
“When was the last time you talked to them?” I ask.
“Don’t know and don’t really care to know how long it's been.” He shakes his head. “I just can’t believe my dad cheated on my mom and she knew and did nothing about it. She stayed put as he was fucking other women. Who does that?”
“How do you know that she knew?”
Miles rolls his eyes and scoffs. “She told me, and then would cover up his lies to make him sound like a good person.” His shoulders tense the more he speaks, this clearly has taken an emotional toll on him. “A good person wouldn’t fuck over his family like this, and a good person wouldn’t lie.”
“I’m really sorry,” I say. “You know you can talk to me, you never need to bottle up your feelings.”
“I know, thank you.” He scratches the hair on the nape of his neck. “It, uh, felt nice to get some of it off my chest.”
I slap his back. “I’m serious, whether I’m here or not, you know I’m always just a phone call away.”
“Love you, Hen. Seriously.”
