I get situated and realize that the chair he originally was sitting in doesn’t face the TV. The only other spot that does would be on the couch next to me.
I have no time to panic as he sits on the other side of the couch nonchalantly, as if he isn’t panicking himself.
“Is it okay if I sit next to you? I’ll try not to bite,” he winks, “but no promises.” The dimples do me in and I nod, mouth slightly ajar which I quickly close so I’m not drooling in front of him.
I watch his body lean across the edge of the couch, grabbing the blanket he left on the chair. His biceps strain through the fabric of his shirt and I can only imagine what other muscles are underneath. He looks back at me as I’m eating another slice of pizza and I hear a small giggle leave him. “Oh no, do I havesomething on my face?” My hand flies straight to my mouth to cover it but Henry’s hand is quickly on my wrist moving it away.
Without a word, his thumb finds the corner of my mouth, wiping away pizza sauce. Before I can think of how nice it feels to have his hands touch my face, his thumb is removed from my face and now sucked in his mouth.
Our eyes stay locked on one another as he licks his thumb. This moment is so sensual for what it is… but I want more. Unfortunately he blinks and removes his thumb from those lips I want to lick myself.
“Come here,” he says, ignoring the part where he just did something so hot and sexual that his command catches me off guard.
Everything Henry does catches me off guard.
“Wh-what?”
“Come here, come lay on my lap. I’ll rub your back while the movie plays.” He sounds so confident, like this is a normal thing for friends to do. “I can do magical things with my hands, Winslow.”
The sexual innuendo has my cheeks flaming because I know he’s talking about rubbing my back but now my mind is going to places it shouldn’t.
Places where Henry’s fingers could linger lower, lower, lower?—
“Grab your blanket too, we’ll make you cozy, okay?” He interrupts my thoughts.
“Okay,” I reply softly and gather my blanket as I move closer. I can feel my heart pounding and I wonder if he’ll be able to feel it too. Is his heart also pounding?
He maneuvers himself so that his legs are planted on the floor and grabs a couch pillow that he puts on his lap. “For your head so you don’t have to lay… you know.” He coughs out the last two words, and I just nod shyly.
Lying back down, I find my way closer to Henry. Every time I look at him, I’m reminded of the most kind hearted and gentle person I’ve come to know. A surprise I didn’t know I needed in my life.
Thinking of all of the summer days that have gone by, all of my memories are filled with him. Every happy moment I’ve had somehow finds its way back to his name on my lips.
Pushing those thoughts away, I rest my head on the pillow he set down for me. Taking the blanket from my grasp, he pulls it over me and rests his hand on my back.
His thumb slowly makes circles on the fabric of my shirt and I wish his hand was touching my skin. Deep down I know that’s going too far but going too far with Henry is all my mind wants to do right now.
I don’t want to be friends with Henry. I want to lie here with his hand on my skin as we watch old movies from our childhood and be able to reach up, pull his face to mine, and have his lips touch my own.
I want to do very unfriendly things to him, but if this is all we can have, this is what I will take.
23
HENRY
I’m trying to act nonchalant and completely unaffected by the proximity between Maisie and I, but the rate of my heart says otherwise.
She fell asleep halfway through the first movie but I continued to rub her back. I can’t tell if it’s more for her comfort or mine. I’ve kept my hand on her the entirety that she’s been on my lap, moving from her back to her arms. Even rubbing my fingers through her blonde waves that brought out a small whimper I’d pay millions to hear again.
I’m not sure what you’d call our friendship, if you can even call it that. We’re in an in-between of liking one another but knowing we can’t go beyond what we are now. I hate it.
I want to spend my nights just like this, watching movies and cuddling on the couch. I want her tired wandering hands to do more. I want her lips on mine whenever she wants.
Every second I spend with her, I wonder how I can make her mine. How I can respect her want for friendship with hope that somehow in the end it’ll be her and I together. Wrinkles and gray hair, hosting dinner parties with our friends, blowing out candles on our birthdays for decades.
I always live in the moment but when it comes to Maisie, she has me thinking about what my life could look like beyond this moment in time.
Moments of her and I.
