"Me and Luca are getting our tattoos today." Even with the turmoil I’m in with my romantic life, I am excited, especially since Luca drew them himself. He even wrote the words that will be inside of it. Honestly, having a living reminder of him is what thrills me the most.
"Want me to go with ya?"
“No.” The word snaps out of me before I can soften it.
He doesn’t say anything, but the way he pulls back, just a fraction, is enough to tell me I’ve struck a nerve. Like I said, he’s a big ol’ teddy bear.
"Okay, I need to go to the club anyway," he murmurs, like he’s convincing himself of something. I can hear the hurt in his voice, but I don't try to console him. And I don’t change my mind and invite him.
I take a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.
"Actually, I need to hurry. My appointment is in an hour." I take the sponge from his hand, turn back around and quickly finish washing my body. My hair needs to be washed too, but I’m not worrying about it now. I need to get out of here.
He reaches past me, picking up his own sponge and washes himself. The sound of the shower fills the awkward silence in the bathroom while steam rises around us. The tension between the two of us is so thick you could cut through it with a knife. Hank finishes and steps out of the shower, leaving me alone.
He doesn’t even say goodbye. He’s leaving and he doesn’t even want to tell me goodbye or kiss me.
Fuck!I hate hurting him like this, especially since I really do love him.
It's crazy how close we got after that night. Even before that, we were growing close. But he wasn't the only one. I have feelings for two others.
How in the hell am I supposed to tell them all? Better yet, do the other two even feel the same?
Maybe I can talk with Luke today. No need to worry if they would be interested in a relationship like the one Ash and her guys have until I know for sure if any of them even wants to be in a relationship at all.
To Luke and Josh, I may just be a side piece. Good for a fuck and to hang out with, but nothing more. Not good enough to be an Ol’ lady but just a little higher than a club whore.
Josh. That one snuck up on me, and I haven’t really been able to explore it. We’re never alone, yet our eyes are always drawn to each other when we’re in a room together. I saw a different side of him when he first took care of Ash after her kidnapping, then Hank. There’s nous, but my heart still wants him.
Why is this so difficult?
Once I'm done, I turn the water off and step out of the shower, pulling the towel from the rack and drying off. When I enter the bedroom, I’m surprised to see that Hank is almost dressed, just pulling his shirt over his head. I thought he had already left.
"Hank," his name rolls off my tongue.
"Hey babe, I'm gonna head out. I need to run by the clubhouse before headin’ over to Hell's Desire." His voice is cold, and I know he's mad, hurt, maybe both. But there's nothing I can do about it now, even if I wanted to. First, I need to see where everyone else stands because there's no way I can cause a rift between Hank, Luke, and Josh. Not with them being in the Hellions together. They’re brothers, and there's no way I’ll be the cause of animosity. Besides, the club always comes first.
"Hank," I call out as I grip the towel to my body, barely covering myself.
"No, it's fine. I need to go, and you got shit with your brother." He goes to leave the room, but stops in the doorway before looking back at me.
I clear my throat as I step toward him. Everything in me is screaming to tell him how I feel. That I do love him. How complicated everything is. But before I can say anything, his voice fills the silence.
"Look, Vee, we need to talk. I thought we had something here. I'm not a fool, though. I know you messed around with Luke in the past, and I was hopin' it had stopped. If there's still something goin' on there, you need to tell me.” He looks up at me with his dark chocolate eyes full of so much turmoil. “As much as I love you, it's not enough to share you. So, you need to decide what you want. Until then, I'll be stayin' at my place." He steps out of the bedroom door, shutting it behind him. It's not long before I hear the front door close and the sound of the deadbolt clicking into place.
He left.
My chest tightens, and I feel a stabbing pain. Bile rises in my throat and I think I’m going to be sick. Is this what it feels like when your heart breaks?
Stumbling over to the bed, I drop onto it, letting the tears break free. That huge teddy bear of a man was telling me I had to make a choice. If it wasn't him, then he was done. But I can't choose, and I sure as hell won’t cause issues between members of the Hellions.
How did I let myself get involved in a love square that had no future?
I need my girl. But I can't bother Ash with the dumpster fire going on in my life. Not with her being pregnant. She needs to stay calm, and I won't be the reason for her heart rate to go up from worrying about me. I know my girl, she’d be waddling her ass right over to Hank and ripping him a new asshole.
Letting out a deep breath, I stand and finish drying off. I need to get to the shop and meet Luca for my tattoo. Everything will have to wait until tomorrow, when I can give it my full attention. That’ll give him time to think about us, hopefully, and me time to talk to the others.
Once I'm dressed, I pick up my phone off the nightstand, smiling when I have to pull the charger out of it. Hank must have plugged it in for me last night. He's so sweet, always doing little things for me like that. Sliding it in my back pocket, I head out of the bedroom, grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and pick up my keys off the counter. New ink always makes me feel good, and I definitely need to feel something other than what I am right now.
