Because I want her.
God, I want her in a way that feels violent. In a way that scares the shit out of me. I want her laughter wrapping around me, her temper aimed directly at me, her softness reserved for the moments when no one’s watching us. I want to be the man who has her complete trust. Most of all, I want to feel her body against mine, and one day, in the future, I want her carrying my child.
It was always in my plan. Her and me. Vee was my endgame.
But wanting her and being good for her are two very different things.
And that’s where the fear of the life I’ve chosen takes over. I’m part of a club. One where danger seems to always be lurking around the corner. Hell, look at what happened to Ash and she’s the Prez’s daughter. Then there’s Arizona. She’s with Bash. Neither of them escaped the pain that happened to them. If something happened to Vee, I don’t know what I’d do.
I’m terrified I’ll fail her. That I’ll reach for her with hands already stained by the life I live, by the men I call brothers, by the rules I can’t just walk away from. She deserves more than what I can give. She deserves safety. A man who knows exactly what he can offer. A future that won’t put her in danger.
I don’t know if I’m that man. That's why I couldn’t answer her. It’s why as much as I want her to be my ol’ lady, I still haven’t asked her.
Can I share her? I can’t stop thinking about that one question she asked me.
The idea of another man touching what’s mine ignites something ugly and possessive in me. Just the thought of another man having his hands on her, fucking her, makes me see red. But then there’s a twinge of something that stirs just at the back of my mind. A thought of what it would be like watching her be pleasured by someone else. The way her body would lose control and come undone under their touch. My fucking cock twitches at the thought.
I sit up, rub my hands over my face and try to clear my mind. Vee just needs some time. She’ll talk to me when she’s ready. But right now, I need to get dressed and head to the shop. Javier is coming in to get a tattoo today, and then I have three other clients after him.
I throw my comforter off of me and swing my legs off the bed. I don’t bother showering. Instead, I head right to my dresser and take out a shirt and pair of jeans. Once I’m dressed, I sit on the edge of the bed and pull my boots on. By the time I swing my leg over my bike, my jaw is locked tight, decision buzzing just under my skin. Josh, Hank and I need to talk. Get everything out in the open and decide what we’re going to do.
I head to Memphis Ink.
When I pull in the parking lot, I see Javier sitting on his bike, phone in hand. He doesn’t look up when I pull in beside him.
“Sorry, man,” I tell him, as I pull off my helmet and get off my bike.
“You’re fine. Haven’t been here long.”
He has a smile on his face, and I almost want to ask if he’s messaging a woman. More precisely, Cassie. He’s trying to hide it, but we all suspect something’s going on between the two of them. And if there isn’t, then he sure as hell is trying hard to make sure there is.
The moment I step inside the building, it feels like home. The air carries that sharp, clean sting of antiseptic and ink, grounding instead of harsh, wrapping around me like a familiar memory. The buzz of machines hums steadily in the background, a sound I’ve learned to find comforting. Music drifts through the space, laughter and voices intermingling with it. A controlled chaos, intimate and alive, and something in my chest finally loosens—the only thing other than Vee that can ever calm my nerves.
“Let’s head to the back and I’ll show you the tattoo I drew up for you,” I tell him as we pass Lisa at the desk. She’s already leaning forward putting her damn chest on display. I really need to have a conversation with Kaleb about her and the way she acts.
She goes to open her mouth but I glare at her. Thankfully, she gets the picture.
I wave to Stone as we pass his table. He has his headphones on, so he just gives me a nod before he goes back to work on the guy on his table who’s getting a massive back piece.
We head straight to my table and I plop down on my stool, dropping my bag on the floor.
“Just have a seat.” Opening the drawer, I pull out my sketchpad and flip to the page with Javier’s design. I debate asking about Vee, but the need to hear something about her wins out. “Was the club packed last night? Did Vee have help at the bar?”
He lifts his hand, running his fingers through his hair and he lets out a heavy exhale. Something happened. Something he doesn’t want to tell me.
“Spit it out, man.” My voice deepens as I struggle to hold it together. I haven’t heard from her and now he’s acting weird about my question.
“She came in and asked Bash to take some time off,” he tells me.
Okay… that’s not bad. Time off. I get it.
“So, she didn’t work?”
“Not exactly.” I raise my eyebrow at his answer, then he continues. “She was gonna work last night, she even went behind the bar.”
“What happened? Why didn’t she?” I ask him, as I hand him the sketchbook to approve the design.
“Hank showed up with one of the club girls. She left after that.”
