No, I can’t be that person. There’s no way I’m going to be the Yoko to their Beatles.
I was right. I need to forget the Hellions forever and push my feelings down into the pit of my stomach, and bury them.
“Thank you, Josh. But right now, I just need to be alone.” I wipe the tears from my eyes as I clear my throat.
“Are you sure? I can stay. We don’t have to do anything but sit here. Maybe watch a movie. We don’t even need to talk.”
And I know he would. That’s what makes him perfect. He’s handsome, intelligent, has a career, and is loyal to a fault to his brothers. That’s just a few of the amazing qualities he has. But I won’t put him in the position of choosing between me and them. I’d lose. And I couldn’t take that heartbreak. What I’m feeling now is enough to last a lifetime.
“Yes, I'm sure. I just need to be alone to think.”
“Okay, darlin’. But just so you know, I’m not staying away forever. I stifled my feelings for you once, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to do it again.” He leans in, kissing me chastely on the lips. Not something you’d expect from a biker. But he’s more than that. He stands slowly, tilting my head upward. “I mean it, Veronica. I’m going to give you the time you ask for. I have a twenty-four hour shift at the hospital tomorrow, but as soon as I’m done there, I’m coming back to you. Do you understand?”
I nod my head, and he growls. It’s so animalistic, and I’d kill to see how it affects me in the heat of passion. But I stifle those thoughts quickly because it’s not going to happen.
“I need a yes or no, Veronica. No head shaking. I want to make sure you’re fully aware I’m not letting you go for a second time. As for Luke and Hank, trust me, they will see reason, even if I have to beat it into them.”
“Yes, I understand,” I mumble. I don’t agree, but it’s not worth arguing.
“Okay, I’m going to go find Hank so I can check that wound, then get some sleep. I’ll message you later.” He lets go of my chin and I’m already missing the warmth his contact offered. Josh stops at the door, looking back over his shoulder at me. “Make sure to lock this behind me.”
“I will,” I mutter, rising slowly from the couch so I can do it.
I shut the door behind him, turning the lock into place, as I rest my forehead against it. Fuck yesterday! Fuck today! It’s been nothing but a shit show. I’m still stupefied that this has turned me from the ballsy, take no shit woman I am, into a crying mess. Is this what love does to you? If so, this shit is for the birds.
Josh’s words still play over in my mind. He’ll be back and even if he has to beat the crap out of them, he’ll sway Luke and Hank to wanting a poly romance. Fuck that shit.
If he has to threaten the other two to be with me as a group, then I don’t want them. Either they accept what I can give or they don’t. I can’t sit around and let it eat away at me.
I need some time to think, away from the men who’ve crushed my soul every day.
Pushing off the door, I go to my bedroom and pick up my phone from the nightstand. I sit down on the carpet, letting my back rest against my bed, and open my contacts in my phone. I know exactly who to call who’ll help me. I just don’t feel like giving all the details, so I hope like hell that he doesn’t pry. Not right now, at least. I’ll tell him when I can do it without turning into a bawling mess.
Chapter 7
Josh
Ican’tbelieveIfinallytold her. Veronica was always the woman I crushed on from afar, never expecting a chance with her. It was common knowledge that she and Luke had something going on, though he never formally claimed her as his ol’ lady.
But when Ash was rescued, God that day still kills me. The way she looked when she was found will always be burned into my brain. She was so frail, broken. It was then I got to spend one on one time with Veronica.
Those moments with her, though the circumstances were horrible, were amazing. She’s fierce and caring at the same time. But I knew I could never be the man she needed. I barely have time to breathe as it is, much less be a present boyfriend.
Luke’s not only an amazing brother in the club, but an honest to goodness great man. He’d give his right arm to you if you needed it. Him and Veronica are perfect for each other.
Then Hank got shot. And Veronica stepped up to take care of him. I could see the spark happening between them, and I knew there wasn’t a place for me. Where things would lead betweenthe three of them I wasn’t sure, but I knew she’d be loved and cared for. She’d have their undivided attention, which was more than I could give her.
But seeing her broken this morning and hearing what happened and that she was open to having a multi-partner relationship, I knew it was time. She had to know how I felt. No, how I feel.
I was scared shitless, but I had to shoot my shot. When she told me she had feelings too, I wanted to scream from the rooftops. Then that kiss. It was mind blowing. More than I could ever dream it could be.
But then she told me about Hank and Luke. The ultimatum. As soon as I left her house I planned to go and talk to them. It was the honorable thing to do. Plus, maybe, just maybe, I could get them to see reason. To accept a poly relationship.
But that idea went to shit when Hank and Luke both showed up.
When Hank opened his mouth and spewed his venom at Veronica, I’ve never wanted to punch a brother so bad. But she needed me. I didn’t need to lose my cool, like him, and do something that I’d regret later.
A conversation needs to be had, but only when cooler heads are present.
