But that was before I told him I also loved someone else, too.
And then he walked away from me. He shattered my heart and if I’m being honest, I still haven’t recovered.
Can I do it? See him? Listen to whatever it is he has to say? What does he want to show us?
I swallow hard. Luke says that if I want to leave, I can. But I owe it to myself to gain some closure, and maybe this is it.
“Okay,” I finally tell them.
“I’ll message him that we’re on the way,” Josh says, leaning over on the couch slightly so he can pull his phone out of his back pocket.
He types something on his phone and he gets a message back almost immediately.
The drive feels endless even though it's only about twenty minutes away. My palms are a sweaty mess and my stomach is doing flip-flops. I just hope I don’t puke.
When we finally pull up in front of a house, I stare at it through the windshield, confused.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Luke admits from where he sits beside me in the driver's seat. “This is the address he gave us.”
It’s a beautiful old house with a wrap-around porch and a swing hanging from one of the banisters. It’s a cream color, and there's a white picket fence around the yard, except for the driveway. In the front is a bay window.
It’s a house I would’ve loved to grow up in.
That somehow makes my nerves worse. Has he already moved in with someone else?
“Let’s do this,” Luke says as he opens his door. Josh is already opening my door for me, and takes my hand, helping me out.
We walk up the porch steps together, and Josh knocks on the door.
Heavy footsteps sound from inside, getting louder the closer they get before the door opens. And there he is. Hank. For a moment the world just stops.
He looks tired. But then I shake it off. I shouldn’t care if he does. But I do.
“Come in,” he says, stepping back to give us space to enter.
Luke and Josh glance at each other, doing their weird mind communication again.
“We can wait outside while you two talk,” Josh offers.
“No,” Hank says, shaking his head as he speaks. “I need to talk to all three of you.” He leads us to the living room and gestures toward the couch. “Have a seat.”
I sit down in the middle while Luke and Josh sit on either side of me. They each take one of my hands and hold them tightly.
Hank stands across from us for a moment like he's gathering courage. Then he starts talking.
“I loved you,” he says. My chest tightens at the way he says loved. “So damn much.” He lifts his hand and rubs it along the back of his neck as he takes a step to the side. “And when I said I couldn’t share… I meant it. I didn’t know how.”
I open my mouth to speak but he raises his hand. “Please… just let me say this. I need to get it all out.”
So I don’t speak. I bite my tongue and hold back, letting him finish what he needs to say before I go running out the front door.
He drags a hand down his face.
“I handled everything wrong. Every single part of it. Instead of talkin’... Instead of trying to understand what you were saying and how you felt, I pushed you away.”
His eyes drop to the floor, almost as though he’s ashamed or he can’t look me in the eyes for what he needs to say.
