I sit there for a moment, not saying anything quickly, truly thinking about what she’s asked.
“I do. I enjoy the release it gives me. The rush is like no other. Do you want me to stop? Does it bother you?” If it did, I’d be done in a heartbeat.
“No, I mean I could never tell you what to do. But I’d like to check out your opponents for you. I don’t want a repeat of what almost happened last time.” she chews on her lower lip, my eyes lasering wishing it was me nibbling on them.
“Of course, I’d actually love that. But, I might not be having as many fights.” She looks at me confused. “Tav asked how I’d like to help them on some of their jobs, and I said yes.”
She smiles
River picks up the remote, hitting play. She already has the movie pulled up. Wonder what she would’ve done if I had said no.
We sit back on the couch and eat, both of us intently watching the movie, comparing it to the original. When she’s had her fill, she sets her container on the coffee table, pulling her feet up on the couch as she angles her body toward me. I’m not sure if she realizes it, but she's softly perfuming.
I love how relaxed she is. Shifting, I angle my body toward her, resting my arm on the back of the couch as I let my fingers brush against her shoulder. She shivers but doesn’t pull away.
The end credits roll, and she looks at me. My eyes focus on her lips, the way she’s biting on the lower one. “What’s wrong?” she asks softly, dropping her head.
“Nothing. I just can’t get over how beautiful you are. How lucky I am that you’re my Kismet.” She lets out a little squeak, glancing up at me through her lashes. “How much I want to kiss you.”
“You want to kiss me?” She swallows hard.
“I do.” I don’t know what takes over me, but I lean forward, pressing my lips to hers, gentle and caring. Not pushing too hard. I want her to know that there’s no pressure. She slowly relaxes, opening her lips to me as my tongue slips through, gliding along hers.
When we pull apart, we’re both a panting mess.
“That was amazing,” she whimpers.
“It was,” I tell her, reaching out, letting the pad of my thumb rub across her bottom lip.
“That was the first time someone’s kissed me and I’ve wanted it, too.”
“I’m glad that it was me. And I hope you let me do it again and again.” She blushes, and my heart pounds.
The guys wanted to talk to her about her heat, but I think now, in private, would be better for her.
“River, can we talk about something serious?” She nods. But that’s not going to work for me. “I need you to use your words.”
“Yes,” she replies.
“I know your heat is nearing. Have you thought about what you’d like to do?”
“I’m not sure. I have the suppressants that I can take, but I don’t know if that is what I want to do. I’ve had two heats andneither of them have been good. I don’t know if I could survive another one. Especially if it ends like the last two.” I can see the pain in her eyes. She wears her emotions on her sleeve. Her eyes water, and I refuse to let her cry.
“If you do, this timewouldbe different. Holden, Nash and I would love to be there for you. To show you how amazing a heat can be with your alphas and beta.” As much as I don’t want her to say no, I have to add the next part. “We don’t have to bond this time. We can simply help you through your heat. Tell us anything we need to avoid doing. We can even do it here. In your home. Your nest. Where you’ll be comfortable.”
We sit in silence. Neither of us say anything. The absence of words is more telling than hearing her deny my request. Or of her saying no.
My hands get clammy, and my pulse quickens. She’s going to say no. I can feel it. I’ve pushed her too hard. She needs more time. I was just so anxious to ask her. Fuck, what am I going to tell the guys?
“Okay.” One word and I’m on cloud nine. I can’t wait to share this with the guys when I get home. Then she surprises me, leaning forward, kissing me softly.
Chapter 45
River
Over the past week my heat spikes have intensified, causing my Kismet’s to spend more time at my apartment. If they weren’t all there, then at least one of them was with me at all times.
“I have the popcorn!” Nash says loudly from the kitchen.
