He turns the golf cart on and heads toward the dirt road that leads to the lake. I turn to face him, curious how he knows the way there. He must see my confusion. “Josh showed me yesterday,” he answers without me having to ask.
“Oh, it seems he was being sneaky,” I whisper.
“River, Nash and I were wondering if we could show you around campus tomorrow. We have an early morning class, but Roman could bring you to the school around lunchtime. We can give you a tour and maybe go for ice cream before we bring you home?”
School. Where everyone could stare at me. See the scar on my face.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Holden adds a bit nervously. “We just thought it might be fun. Maybe even might make you want to start going to school on campus… with us.”
I glance over my shoulder, seeing a twinge of excitement mixed with disappointment on their faces. It’s just a tour of the school. I’ll be with them. They’ll keep me safe. At least they say they will…But how will I know if I don’t give them the chance?
“Sure. It might make me a little anxious. All those people, and the scar on my face. I’m not sure how I will handle people staring.” My voice cracks a little.
“If they stare, it’s because you’re so beautiful. The scar on your face just makes you more attractive,” Nash says sweetly, and I can’t help but laugh. He’s such a Sour Patch-kid. With his brothers, I’ve seen him be grumpy, and to me he’s nothing but sweet.
My eyes shift back to the road, and I see it before Roman. “Watch out for the hole.” He tries to swerve to miss it, but the passenger side catches and it causes me to bounce, shifting on the bench seat and pressing firmly against Roman. I inhale his lime-orange scent, and a soft moan escapes me. I feel Roman’s body stiffen, and I can already feel my face turning a bright shade of red.
“Sorry,” he says quickly.
“It’s okay.” I slide back over and place my hands in my lap. Roman slows down, making sure not to hit another bump in the road. When we finally made it to the lake, I’ve calmed down again.
“This is gorgeous,” Holden says as he lets out a low whistle.
“Isn’t it? This is my favorite spot on the property. The guys bring me here a lot.”
Roman pulls the golf cart to a stop, and we all get out. Holden grabs a cooler, and Nash gets the blanket, and we walk as a group toward the lake. “This looks like a good spot. We have some shade,” Roman tells us, looking to me for approval.
“It does.” Nash takes the blanket and lays it down flat on the ground. When he’s done, he reaches out and takes my hand, guiding me to sit down.
“Would you like a salad?” Holden asks, sitting beside me. “Or do you want the sandwich first?” I think about it for a minute. I’m starving. Should I just go ahead and eat how I normally would, or be like all the omegas that went to my high school and eat like a bird?
“Both,” I answer.
“That’s what I’m talking about. I love a girl with a healthy appetite,” Nash says joyfully, while Holden winks at me. He already knew I liked to eat from our conversations. But I’m glad he gave me the option to choose.
“River,” Roman coughs. “I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner one night. Just the two of us? Maybe a movie?”
I’ve spent the least amount of time talking with him. I feel like I’ve gotten to know Holden and Nash through our conversations when we were messaging. Conversations we still have when they’re not with me. But Roman, there was never a reason for me to message him. Other than the few times I did using my burner phone.
“I’d like that. Or we could order some food and eat it at my place,” I offer. “My apartment.” Just to clarify, I didn’t mean at Tav’s house.
“That’s even better,” he hums.
The guys start to glance at each other as if they’re speaking with some type of telepathic power. My stomach starts to knot, worried about what could be happening. Our conversation has been good, we’ve even made some dates. I don’t have to wait long to find out what it is.
“River, you know Storm talked to us about your past. Your father, the pack he sold you to and the cutting.” Roman starts, and I freeze. “We don’t want you to rehash anything if you’re not ready, we’d just like to know why you started cutting. Is there anything that makes you want to now? Ways we can help you.”
Okay, that’s not too bad. I can do this. They are my Kismets.
“First, know it wasn’t about trying to kill myself. I want to live. To be happy. But the pain in my life was so great, and I had no control over what was happening to me. Cutting gave me an outlet. It was something I controlled. It was a way of taking the pain I was feeling with everything in my life and replacing it with something else.”
They move closer to me, each of them touching me in comfort, Roman taking my hand in his, Holden placing a hand on my back and Nash placing his on my leg.
“I never wanted therapy, but honestly it helps. I know what to look for, what sets that need off.” “What sets you off?” Holden asks softly.
“Stress, feeling out of control, reminders from the past. But with each day, it lessens. I know I’ll never be cured and that the urge will always be there, lingering, just below the surface. But I’m stronger now.”
“And you have us.” Nash adds.
