“Please say yes.” Holden steps forward. “I know that a lot has happened to you and that you may be scared. That’s okay. If you need your family around while we get to know you, that’s okay, too. We’ll do whatever it takes to be with you.”
“You would?” They all nod in response. My heart is telling me to say yes. These are my bonds. They were picked especially for me. “Okay,” slips from my lips before I can say no.
Then I turn to Torin. “Can I go home? I don’t want to be here.”
“We can. Everything is packed and ready to go. We were just waiting for you to wake up.,” he tells me.
“Can we come with you?” Nash asks. “We just want to spend time with you. We don’t have to stay.”
Do I want them to come with me? It would be so easy to say no. But I can’t. I need to be strong and see if this works. If they canreally accept me. Accept me with all the flaws that I have. For all my scars.
“Okay. For a little bit anyway,” I say softly, their scents overtaking me. “Can I talk to my brothers in private, please?”
“Of course. We’ll be right outside the door,” Roman says, as the three of them turn and leave the room.
When the door shuts, I let out a sigh of relief, but I feel a painful twinge in my chest with their absence.
“You said they know everything. But do they? Do they know I may be pregnant?” “Yes. And they don’t care. They want to be there to take care of you,” Tav speaks up. “They’ll treat you the way you should have always been treated. You can finally blossom and come out of the house. Go back out in public and live your life.”
“There is something I want to do,” I tell them. “Somewhere I want to go.”
“Just tell us,” Storm says, smiling widely. “Anywhere you want to go, I’ll be there with you.”
He would. But he needs to be with his pack. Apparently, I’ve found mine. We’re not official or anything, but now that I know, I don’t think I can live without them. Even though I still fear that they’ll reject me, once they really see the scars.
“Mar—” I won’t give them any more power by saying their name. “They said that they hacked into Heatwave and got the information about the pack who was supposed to help me. I want to meet with Heatwave and make sure their database is impenetrable. I don’t want this to happen again.” “I’ve already put that into motion,” Torin says. “I figured you’d want me to help.” “Thank you.” I mouth to him before speaking again. “I also want to know if the pack that was supposed to help me is okay.”
They all look between each other before shaking their heads, giving me the answer I was dreading. I hate that. Their deaths are because of me.
“Don’t do that, River. That isn’t your fault. None of what happened is. The people to blame are dead. Now it’s time to move on.” Storm’s words are true, but it’s not so easy to just move on and not blame myself. I should’ve told them about the messages. Called off using Heatwave. But I didn’t, and I have to live with that.
“Do we need to schedule an appointment with your therapist? We could set it up over a video call,” Torin offers.
Maybe I should. I have an appointment already scheduled for, shit, next week maybe. I seem to have lost track of time.
“I have an appointment scheduled. Our regular one. I just don’t remember the date. If I need to move it up, I’ll let you know.” All I want to do now is go home to my apartment. “Can we go now?”
“Of course. We have some food out in the kitchen. I want you to eat first, and then we’ll load the cars,” Storm tells me.
“How long are you staying?” I ask him. He wants to be here with me, but I know he needs his pack.
“As long as you need me.”
I like that. It’s been so long since we’ve been able to be together.
“Time to eat, then home,” Torin says, taking my hand and helping me to stand. “Do you need to use the bathroom?”
For the first time since I woke up, my bladder is screaming at me. “Yes.” Torin takes my hand, helping me to the ensuite bathroom, and pulls the door closed, leaving it open just a crack.
I take care of my business and wash my hands, taking a moment to gaze at myself in the mirror. My hair’s disheveled, and I can see the imprint of the pillow on my face. My eyes stop on the scar that my father gave me, and all I can do is sigh. Theysaw it, but they didn’t focus on it when they talked to me. It’s a first.
My mouth tastes like cardboard, and my teeth feel gritty. I don’t have a toothbrush, so I take the toothpaste, placing some on my finger, and brush my teeth as best as I can. Then I run my fingers through my hair, trying to remove some of the tangles, taming it the best I can.
Once I’m done, I step out of the bathroom to see just Storm in the room. “Torin’s gone to get your plate ready.” He holds out his arm to me, and I slip mine through it, resting my head on his shoulder as we head out to the kitchen.
I hear the chatter of their voices the closer we get. It’s weird to have them here in person and not on my screen as I spy. Something they don’t know since no one knows I was logging into the cameras. Suddenly the hounding need to talk to them, to watch them, is clear.
I have Kismet bonds. I still can’t get over it.
