That’s his reply. I can feel the anger boiling up inside me. How can my life be this insane? The moment one thing changes trajectory, another goes spiraling off the rails. I don’t care if he’s busy or not. He’s going to talk to me. I’ll camp out on his doorstep until he does.
First, I need to pay a bill.
Chapter 30
Bradley
Iwokeupfeelinglikeshit. No longer puking, but now the pain is in my heart.
Hearing from both of them today, after they reconnected last night, wasn't what I was expecting. I figured they’d be too wrapped up in rekindling their love to even give me a second thought.
But that isn’t the case.
Why couldn’t they just ghost me like any other person wanting to end a relationship? It’s a tried-and-true plan that’s been used for ages. Why alter something that isn’t broken? I don’t need the breakup face to face. The old, ‘it’s not you it’s me’, motto. Knowing that they still have feelings for their ex is one thing. But to find out that the ex for each of them was the other is another thing.
My eyes are glued to my phone. My fingers fighting the urge to answer Jefferson’s call. But when he said he was coming over, I knew my heart couldn’t handle that. So, I replied. Polite and firm. But he didn’t respect those boundaries, and my phonebegins vibrating in my hand. He’s calling again. I send him to voicemail and quickly type a message.
Me: Can’t talk. Busy.
I sit there in a daze staring at my phone. When no message comes through, a wave of disappointment hits me.
“You should be happy he’s not responding. You didn’t want to face either of them, anyway. To have them reject you and tell you whatever was building between us was over,” I say out loud, as if my best friend were there to listen to me.
I open Malcolm’s message, like an addict craving their next hit. He told his family. I couldn’t be prouder of him. My fingers start typing before I even think of responding, already knowing what my heart wants.
Me: I am so proud of you. Now you can live your life without fear and regret.
Then, I add, even though it kills me.
Me: Now you can win your ex back. I’m glad I could help you and I hope you have an amazing life.
Immediately, a check mark pops up. He read it. Did he have his phone in his hand?
Maybe he won’t answer?
But he does. Well, he is since I can see the bubbles dancing. Oh shit! My breathing becomes erratic, and I feel like I’m hyperventilating.
Malcolm: Are you okay? I’m coming over.
I drop my phone on the cushion and stand up from the couch and start to pace. What the fuck am I going to do? He’s comingover, and I don’t want to see him. To have him tell me it’s over. I already know it. I don’t need the rejection in person.
Scout.
Rushing back over to my phone, I pick it up and shoot off a text, too rattled to form words at the moment.
Me: Please tell me you’re free. I need to talk.
Wanting to deter Malcolm from coming over, I shoot him a message.
Me: I’m busy.
Scout: Yeah, want me to come over there? To the coffee shop?
Me: No. Neither of those. We can go to your place or if you want coffee we can go to the Bean and Pastry.
I’m too paranoid to go to our normal coffee shop as that’s where I also have my clients pick me up. I’m not leaving anything to chance by potentially running into them.
Scout confirms the address, and then I rush to my bedroom, change clothes, grab my wallet and keys, and then I’m out the door.
