A grandpa. I’m going to be a grandpa. I still can’t believe it. Alice being pregnant out of wedlock wasn’t what I envisioned for her. But she’s happy and from all she says, Patrick loves her, and that’s all I care about. We have a family dinner set for next Sunday so that we can meet the people our children are dating and give our blessing.
Bradley pops into my mind. If it weren’t for him helping me, I’d never be where I am now. I’d still be bound by my secret. Clicking over to my messages I pull up my thread with him.
Me: I did it. I finally told my parents and my kids. It was a mixed reaction.
I hit send, but there’s more I want to tell him. Just not through text or a phone call, but in person.
Me: I need to see you. Can I come over tomorrow? I know you’re not feeling well so I want to check on you, anyway. I can bring food. If you’re up to eating.
Before I can send it, I hear the elevator doors opening.
Jefferson’s here. He’s really here.
“Malcolm,” his deep gruff voice calls.
“In here.” I step out of the dining room into the living room, and my heart stops at finally seeing him since that godforsaken morning that ruined me.
He takes one look at me, my swollen eyes, tear stained face and haggard posture. It tells a story and he’s reading every page.
“Come here.” He holds open his arms and my feet move as if by memory right to him. His arms wrap around me as I rest my head on his shoulder, and the tears fall. I cry for the heartbreak I caused him. For losing him. The way my parents reacted and their rejection. Then I cry happy tears for the love Paige and the kids show me.
Most of all, I cry because I never thought I’d have this again. Jefferson’s arms around me.
I inhale, his rich cologne calming me. I’ve missed him so fucking much.
“Are you okay?” He brings his hand up, gently stroking the back of my head while the other rubs my back.
“Yes. No. Maybe.” I mumble into his shirt.
“Let’s sit down and I’ll get us something to drink. You can tell me about it.” He releases me, and instantly my body misses him. Hating the tease of having him, only to have to lose him again.
Jefferson guides me over to the couch, then disappears into the kitchen. He knows my home better than I do. Where each glass is. How I have my pantry organized meticulously. Even where I hide my chocolate, because if I keep it out in the open, I’d eat it. I heavily employ the out of sight, out of mind practice.
He returns, two bottles of beer in his hand. Yep, definitely going to need a beer to spill my news.
“You finally told your family?” he asks, sitting down beside me on the couch, so close that our legs brush against each other, causing my breath to hitch.
“Yes.” I pause for a second, swallowing the lump building in my throat. He needs to know the whole story, not just snippets.
I grip the bottle tightly, my fingernails picking nervously at the edge of the label. “Jefferson, when I told you I loved you and losing you wasn’t an option for me, I meant it.” I pause, and he takes that as either an opportunity to speak or me wanting him to reply. Neither of those were what I wanted, but I hear him out.
“Malcolm,” he sighs. “I never doubted your love. You know why I broke it off. It wasn’t that I wanted to, but because I needed to. You were in a different place, one where we couldn’t be a real couple. Not the kind I needed.”
He’s right. I was.
“I know. But you doing what you did, put everything into perspective for me. A life with you is what I want. Hell, I still want it. To be able to walk down the street holding your hand in mine. To kiss you. Have you as my date to my daughter’s wedding.”
Jefferson’s eyes lift to find mine, his brows furrowing at my words. “Wedding? Alice?”
I just nod, a goofy smile on my face. “Yes, but I’ll get to that.”
Jefferson bites his lip, and I can’t help but groan. There’s nothing I want more than to have my lips on his, nipping and tugging on them.
“I had everyone over for dinner.” I start, needing to get back to task. “I’ve been working on myself and with some help, I was able to get comfortable being in public. Dinner and news, it was the perfect plan. Or so I thought.”
“What happened?”
“The kids actually knew. They even knew we were together. It was obvious, they said.”
