Me: Yeah. It’s time.
Paige: 6. Ok then I’ll be there at 5 so you can tell me about the secrecy for the prescription since you’re obviously not sick.
Me: I promise to tell you everything.
Paige: I need to go, but I’m proud of you. It’s time.
My parents and the kids all respond they’ll be there. They have questions, but I just tell them it’s not bad news. Just something I want to say in person.Not bad? Will they think that?
Then I click on my message thread with Jefferson. Still nothing. I want to groan, kick my legs and throw a tantrum, but I don’t.
Then I try again. He needs to know I’m serious.
Me: I know you saw the last message and chose not to answer. I just want you to know that I’m fighting for us. That I love you.
Then I see tiny bubbles dancing on the screen. It seems like forever, then they disappear. But no message ever comes.
My heart drops.
Me: I’m telling my family tomorrow night at 6. I’m not hiding anymore.
Me: I love you Jefferson and I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’m willing to own up to them.
Me: Our lives were very different. You had a family who supported you no matter what. I didn’t. But tomorrow, whether they accept me or not, I’m finally telling them.
Me: Then I’m going to win you back. So be ready.
I don’t wait to see if he replies. If the little dots on the screen dance or if he reads the message only to ignore it.
Turning off my phone, I plug it into the charger, then get out of bed, and head to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, change into pajamas and brush my teeth. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m ready to meet it head on and come out a better person on the other side.
I don’t know what time it is when I feel the mattress shift, and a draft catches my back. Rubbing the heel of my palm against my eyes I try to wake up. Looking over I see Bradley’s gone, and I hear water running in the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” I call to him, my voice still husky with sleep.
“Yeah. Just needed to use the bathroom.” he whispers, coming back into the room, getting back in bed.
He rolls into my arm, resting his head on my chest as I gently stroke my fingers across his back, soothing him.
“Feeling better?”
“Yes. No. I swear it feels like I’m dying.” He lets out a sigh, and his hot breath dances along my skin. “I’m sorry I ruined our day.”
“Don’t.” I tell him. “You didn’t ruin anything. You’re sick. And I’m happy I was here to take care of you. Especially, after all the help you’ve given me.”
“Yeah, but we had so much we were going to do today so that you’d be ready to tell your family.”
Ready. I don’t think I ever will be. And that’s what both Bradley and Jefferson have been trying to tell me. There’s never a good time, but I can’t go on living hoping for something. I need to make this happen. To own who I am.
“Ready or not, I am. I can’t live like this any longer. Hiding who I am. Who I love.” I kiss the top of his head, as his arm slips across my stomach, curling around my waist.
“Thank you for taking care of me.” he whispers before I hear his silent snores.
The only problem I have now is what happens if Jefferson takes me back. Where does it leave what’s happening with Bradley?
But that’s a worry for tomorrow.
Chapter 24
