“No. Stella told me she saw Jefferson at a charity event.”
“Okay. He goes to a lot of them.” That’s not anything new. Sometimes I attended as a guest. There was no hand holding, dancing, or even lustful glances. We had pretenses to keep up. Well, I did.
“He wasn’t alone. He had a date. And according to her, they were hot and heavy.” Paige effectively sticks the knife in my heart and gives it a twist. “When are you going to get your shit together and win him back?”
“I’m working on it,” I groan, hating that he’s moving on without me.
“Well, you need to hurry it up instead of being out of town.” She doesn’t miss a beat informing me what I need to do.
I want to yell, throw the phone, and puke all at the same time. I’m doing everything I can, and yet I keep falling behind.
“Paige, I’m trying. It’s what I’m out of town for this weekend. Working to come out and be comfortable being the real me in public. To talk to my parents and the kids. It’s just hard, and I need a little more time.”
“Really? You’re serious about doing this?”
“Yeah. I have someone helping me. Baby steps, but in double time.”
Neither of us says anything. An uncomfortable silence settles. The only sound is the music playing through the speaker and Bradley’s soft snore. One that’s so adorably cute, I want to record it just to play back later.
“I’m proud of you, Malcolm. Just remember, I’m here and I’ll be by your side if you need me.”
“I know. It’s why I love you.” And I do. She may not be my wife, but she is my best friend.
“Just hurry. You and Jefferson are perfect together. I’m just afraid he’s going to move on to someone new before you do what you need to so you can be with him.”
Her fear is valid. I’ve been feeling it as well. It doesn’t help that the news she gave me seems to make it a reality. Jefferson is moving on and I need to either figure out my issues, or lose him forever.
“I love you, Paige, but I need to go.”
“Love you too. Call me when you’re home.” With that, she hangs up, disconnecting the call.
I’m left with so much to think about and no answers. All I know is, I can’t lose him. Clicking into my text messages, I find my thread with Jefferson and quickly type.
Me: I’m working on sorting out my insecurities and coming out to my family. Don’t give up on me. On us, yet.
Me: I love you.
Chapter 20
Malcolm
“Wakeup,sleepyhead,we're here.” I coo into his ear as I gently shake his arm.
Bradley ended up sleeping the entire way here. The lack of conversation left my thoughts untamed and they were all over the place. From stressing over the fact that Jefferson read my message but didn’t respond, all the way to how I was going to come out to my family. Do I save myself some heartache and tell the kids and my parents at the same time? Rip the bandaid completely off and let the chips fall where they may? Or confront them one at a time? Both options have me sick to my stomach.
“Shit, did I sleep the entire way?” Bradley stretches his arms as best he can over his head, letting them fall back behind the headrest. His shirt rises, showing off his six pack abs and the trail of dirty blond hair disappearing beneath his jeans.
“You did. Fucking snored the entire way here.” I joke with him.
“I don’t snore.” He claps back at me, his hand going to his chest like he’s appalled that I even dare suggest that he does.
“Nah, not that much, but you do a little. It’s cute.” I reach up, brushing a loose lash from his cheekbone, my fingers tingling as I touch his skin. Did he feel the same sensation as me? I can’t tell. Jerking my hand back quickly I clear my throat. “Shall we head inside and get our room?”
“Sounds good,” he says.
We each open our doors, stepping out into the warm air. It’s stifling. Getting our bags from the car, we head inside the hotel. I chose a nice one, but not the nicest. Bradley seems like a down to earth kind of guy, and I don’t think the penthouse in the million dollar highrise hotel in town would be the way to impress him. Not that I need to. This is a work engagement, and he is being paid well for his time.
“So, you ready? Step one in our master plan to win back your boyfriend?” he asks, bumping his shoulder into me.
