It’s as if I'm just going through the motions. Not wanting to deal with drying my hair or going to bed with it wet, drynesswins out, and I put on the shower cap. Taking hold of the knobs, I turn the water on and undress while it warms up.
Stepping into the shower, the water runs hot over my skin, cascading in thick streams down my shoulders and back. It feels amazing to my aching muscles. I lean forward, pressing my palms flat against the wall, bowing my head forward even further. The pounding sound of the water against flesh fills the room, securing me in my own private cocoon where I can finally be alone with my thoughts. Part of me wishes the water could drown them out completely, or at least the ones I don’t want to face.
I close my eyes.
And theresheis again.
Roxy!
I can feel the brush of her hand against my face, the way she laughs with her whole body, how her gaze lingered just a second too long on me. Me doing this shoot isn’t supposed to mean anything. It can’t mean anything. But for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about her.
My fingers twitch against the wet tiles. A slow, traitorous heat pooling low in my stomach. Soft guilt pulses through me, causing my breath to hitch.Or is that lust?
I bite my lower lip, pressing my thighs together.
God, what the fuck is wrong with me? Why do I keep thinking about her like this? Why does it excite me when I do?
I try to chase the thoughts away, but they cling to me, stubborn and sweet. Worse, it isn’t just the memory of her face. It’s the thought of what it felt like when she touched me. When she kissed me. All I can think about is what’s to come.
I exhale sharply; the sound lost in the mist from the water.
This isn’t me. This isn’t supposed to happen. I’m not supposed towantthis.
I have Ezra, he’s my everything. Roxy shouldn’t even be a blip on my radar. I’m not into women, so why am I so attracted to her? I’ve never been drawn to a woman, not like I am with her, and I just met her for goodness sake!
But under the hot spray, in the solitude of the shower, my body doesn’t seem to care about what I should or shouldn't be feeling. It isn't thinking of who I’m with. All it wants to do, all it craves, is acting on the desires I’m feeling for Roxy without any hesitation.
I look up, letting the water hit my face, scalding my skin as if it could burn the confusion away.
But it doesn’t. It stays like a secret I can’t wash away.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? My hand drops, going right to my center as I press the pad of my fingers against my throbbing clit. Slow and gentle, I rub tiny circles around it. My legs spread apart without question, allowing better access.
Roxy appears in front of me, her long, luscious locks cascading across her shoulders, barely covering her large breasts. I give a small shake of my head, trying my damndest to toss away the vision of her. Ezra, that’s who I need to focus on. He’s the one that can tip me over the edge and rid me of this nagging yearning that has me begging for a release.
All I think about is his wavy hair, the way the longer locks fall into his eyes. The dimple in his cheek, his lust filled eyes when he looks at me. But then, in my vision, my fantasy, she steps up beside him. The blonde goddess who doesn’t want to vanish from my thoughts, no matter how hard I try.
Ezra.
Roxy.
Each of them has a hold over me that I can’t deny. My fingers move quicker, the tension in my stomach building as I inch closer to falling over the edge.I shouldn’t be doing this. Not like this. Not with her in my head.But the guilt doesn’t slow me down, it only makes it more forbidden.
Roxy jumps to the forefront again, as Ezra fades away. She lays me down, placing her mouth on my clit, her tongue swirling circles around it as she thrusts a finger inside me.
“Fuck!” I cry out as my orgasm hits me hard.
It’s all I can do to keep my balance as I ride out the waves that are rocking me to my core.
My breathing is fast and heavy and it’s not until the last crescendo of the wave leaves me does my heart drop. I got off to someone other than my boyfriend. To Roxy, the very woman I have to do this damn shoot with.
Fucking hell! What is Ezra going to think when I tell him?
What if I can't? What if this wasn't just a moment? What if something’s changing in me and I can’t put it back the way it was?
I sink onto the edge of the tub, water still pounding down, the ache between my legs already fading, but the weight in my chest? That’s just getting heavier.
Chapter 13
