I sit on the edge of the bed, back straight, my hands clasped together in my lap. Roxy doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, but I can feel her eyes on me. She made her stance on this clear. Her exact intention is to make me feel comfortable, and now the tension hangs between us as she waits for me to answer.
I tilt my head up, taking in Roxy completely for the first time. She exudes confidence, beauty, poise, and kindness. I’m captivated by her shiny blonde hair, her wide smile and perfect teeth to the tiny speckle of brown in her blue eyes. My heart beats wildly, the steady rhythm overshadowing everything in the room as I bite on my lower lip.
“There’s no pressure, Bliss. This is a great opportunity. Together we can make an amazing photo shoot for the month and a video that will rake in the money for the both of us. I mean, it’s simple. It’s just sex, and hey, you’re doing Orgasm Day, so it’s a perfect fit.”
“No offense, but I don’t think I can get past my own hangups of being sexual with someone I’m not with. Also, someone who’s a woman.” I exhale as I finally tell her what’s bothering me.
“I can understand that. You have a boyfriend, right? Lorna mentioned it. Is it possible he’s the reason for your reluctance? That you feel like this little team up means you’re cheating on him?” She scoots closer to me, her legging covered legs brushing against my bare ones.
“Maybe.” My answer comes out more confused than sure, as she places her hand on my knee, squeezing softly.
It’s not like he wouldn’t understand — this washisidea, after all — but what if hethoughthe was okay with it and seeing it makes him feel differently? What if he resents me for enjoying it? Forlikingit? My fingers twitch in my lap. He said I could explore, as long as it was with a woman... but hearing him say the words and actually acting on them are two very different things.
Am I crossing some invisible line? Am I betraying him — or myself?
“Lorna said it was also his idea that if you wanted to do this, you’d be with a woman. So he knows what you’re doing. He’s obviously okay with it, just with a few restrictions. So it’s up to you to decide, buttercup. Are you in or out? If you’re in, I’ll help you to make sure our month is pure fire.”
Roxy doesn’t say anything else. She doesn’t push. Doesn’t plead. She just sits and watches me with those gentle blue eyes. The hope in her gaze is undeniable. Of course, she will benefit from this too. It’s not just me in this predicament. I put her here, too.
The seconds drag on. My chest rises and falls with each slow breath. Finally, I know what I’m going to do. I gaze right into her eyes, my mouth opening as the words flow from it. “Okay. I’ll try. But I can’t make any promises.”
The words are barely out of my mouth before Roxy’s leaping at me, wrapping her arms around me and squealing in delight.
She rocks us both back and forth as she holds me tight. “This is going to be so amazing! First, we need to get to know each other, though.”
“Agreed. But it’d be easier if you let me go.”
“Yep, it would.” She pulls away, her fingertips trailing along my arms as she goes. Goosebumps pop out along my flesh from her touch, confusing me.
“Okay, let’s get the basics out of the way. My name is in fact Roxy. I’m far too lazy to try and come up with something clever, nor would I have the energy to remember it. I’m currently tragically single and one hundred percent a lesbian. I have no desire to try sausage. In fact, I carry an EpiPen because I’m allergic to dick.” Her face twists—nose wrinkles, upper lip curls, eyebrows pinching together in revulsion. It isn’t subtle. It’s as if she's performing in a poorly acted movie. Almost as if her body wants to crawl away from whatever horrible thing she’s just imagined.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, fighting to hold back my laughter. “Is a cock really that bad? I mean, I happen to like them.”
Roxy looks at me like she’s about to be sick to her stomach. Like just speaking the words associated with a penis has somehow put a dark taint to the air she’s breathing.
“Felicity. You have no idea. I can feel my throat closing on me as we speak. Here.” She picks up her phone and pushes it into my hand. “You need to go ahead and call 911. I don’t think I’ll be able to breathe much longer; my throat is already tight.”
“Okay, first off, I know you’re being dramatic. So, lesbian? From your reaction, I’m assuming you’ve never been with a man before.”
Her head shakes so fast I’m sure she’s going to give herself whiplash. I can almost feel her brain bouncing off her skull.
“Never. Anything shaped like a phallus is a no go for me. I mean, I’m cool with you liking them, but don’t dismiss a good pussy.” She winks and I can feel my face heating. Why does she keep having this kind of effect on me?
“Umm, okay. So is this all you do? I mean working for Behind the Lens. Do you have another job?” Fuck, why am is so flustered?
“Damn, you’re cute. I’m blessed to make a good living as a camgirl. My clientele is high and loyal. Money wise, I’ve invested well and could retire today if I wanted and be okay. But I do have another job, because while I love what I do here, I don’t want to do it forever. So when I’m not here, I pick up PRN jobs for physical therapy. Mostly in nursing homes. The old men love me, and I love fucking with them.”
Roxy’s head falls back as she begins to laugh. It’s the kind of laugh that comes from deep inside you and is contagious. Her shoulders bounce as she lets out a snort, and quickly tries to compose herself. I could listen to it on repeat.
“What about you?” she asks once she’s calmed down.
“Umm, a student,” I say softly. “Psychology. I’m not sure exactly what field I want to go into with it, but it’s what I’m majoring in.”
“Now I get it.” She leans back on her arms as she keeps her focus on me.
“Get what?” I cock my head to the side as I raise my eyebrow in confusion.
“How you’re so good at captivating your audience. You just have this way about yourself. You drew me in last night. The way you engaged with the viewers, how you made me feel as if I was the only one you were talking to. It’s a gift and you have it.”
