Blake reaches out hesitantly, then lets his hand drop onto mine. "I can’t take it back. But I will work every second of the day, replacing those memories with new ones. Happy ones. With us. I’ll keep doing it until you can look at me again without seeing my betrayal."
I press my fingers against my temple, squeezing my eyes shut for a second before looking back at him. "I don’t know," I say again, my voice uncertain.
Blake nods, but I can see the way his throat moves when he swallows the tension in his jaw. "Can you let me try? Please, Chase. I don’t know how to go on living without you. I waited so long to be with you, and in one night, I fucked it all up. I know that. But I can’t lose you."
His words mend something inside me. I run a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly. "It’s fucking hard, Blake."
"I know," he says immediately, squeezing my hand. "And I’ll do whatever it takes to make it easier. Even if it takes forever.”
I meet his eyes then, and for the first time in what feels like ages, I see the boy I fell in love with. Not the mistake, not the pain, just him.
I sigh, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. "How about we take baby steps? No pressure. And just… see where it goes."
Blake’s shoulders sag with relief, and after days of tension, there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Yeah?"
I nod. "Yeah."
And just like that, a sliver of light breaks through the darkness. A fleeting hope that maybe, just maybe, we’ll get back to where we were.
The hours slip by, filled with small talk. It’s not deep or significant, but it’s something. And for once, I don’t completely hate Blake. It’s a start.
Running a hand over my face, I let out a deep yawn.
“Tired?” Blake asks, his voice softer now, as if our time talking has eased the tension between us just a little.
“Yeah,” I admit, rubbing my eyes, turning to face him. “Who would’ve thought having absolutely nothing to do would be so exhausting?”
Blake chuckles under his breath. “Yeah.” He exhales, rolling his shoulders. “I didn’t sleep the best last night.” His hand rubs at the back of his neck.
“Well, yeah. You slept on a bench all night. That must have been shit.”
Blake shrugs. “It’s okay. I deserved it.”
I frown, my gaze drifting toward the air mattress before flicking back to him. The exhaustion is clear to see on his face, in the way his shoulders slump, the bags under his eyes dark from fatigue. He’s punishing himself, but even after everything, I can’t bring myself to let him.
“We could take a nap together,” I suggest, watching his reaction. “On the mattress.”
Blake immediately shakes his head. “No. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“It’s fine,” I insist, sitting up straighter. “We’ll just be sleeping. By the time our eyes close, we won’t even know the other is there.”
He hesitates, looking between me and the mattress, like he’s fighting an internal war. I sigh, then stand, making my way over and lying down without another word. My heart pounds in my chest as I stare at the ceiling, waiting.
Seconds pass. Then a minute. I lift my head slightly, peering at him where he still sits, motionless.
“Blake, come on,” I murmur, my voice quieter now. “Just lie down. Please. You need some sleep, and I’m not going to make you sleep on the bench again. If you don’t get over here, then I’m getting up. You sleep on the bench. I sleep on the bench.”
His Adam’s apple bobs, and then, finally, he moves. It's slow, hesitant, but he joins me, sitting down on the opposite side of the mattress, lying down stiffly.
I roll onto my side, my back to him. I can’t look at him. Not yet. Having him this close, lying next to me, is already overwhelming enough. I just need to get through this. One time. One time is one step closer to maybe, eventually, forgiving him.
His breathing evens out after a few minutes, slow and deep, and when I glance over my shoulder, I find him fast asleep. The tension in his face has smoothed away, replaced with something more vulnerable, more familiar. A version of Blake I hadn’t allowed myself to see in a long time.
I close my eyes and let myself follow him into sleep.
Chapter 25
Blake
