“She laid down and I… well I umm, I put my dick inside of her,” I rush out, a tiny bit of relief that it’s out in the open, no longer poisoning me. “But when I looked down at her, it wasn't you looking back at me. It wasn’t your face with green eyes, your dimples or bow-shaped lips. It was a stranger. It’s all it took to sober me up and hit me with the reality of what I was about to do. My cock went soft as shit and when I went to pull out of her, she dug her nails in my back. That's where those marks came from. I never fucked her, but what I did was just as bad. I betrayed you and what we were together, and I can never forgive myself for that.”
The silence between us stretches unbearably, thick with the weight of my confession. My voice feels like it has been ripped from my throat, leaving nothing but a raw ache in its place. The moment the last word crossed my lips, I felt it—felt the break, the fracture between us splitting wider than I ever could have imagined.
I can’t look at him. I can’t bear to see the wreckage I’ve wrought reflecting in his eyes. My knuckles have gone white from the grip I have on the bench, but it is the only thing keeping me grounded, the only thing stopping me from completely unraveling.
I pull my wallet from my pocket, removing a folded paper from it, and he watches, my heart pounding. "I was tested when we came back. I wanted you to know I was clean, in case you forgave me. I can understand if you don't," I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper as I hold the paper out to him, my hands trembling.
But he doesn’t take it.
For a long, agonizing moment, Chase just sits there, unmoving. His face is blank, but his eyes—his beautiful, green eyes—are anything but. The pain in them is unbearable. It’s the kind of pain that hollows a person out, that destroys them from the inside.
And I put it there.
I did this to him.
I swallow hard, my throat dry, my entire body numb with shame. My chest aches, not just with guilt, but with something deeper—something that feels a lot like grief.
Then, without a word, Chase stands.
For a split second, hope flares inside me. Maybe he’ll take the paper. Maybe he’ll give me something—anything—to hold on to. To tell me there’s still hope for us. Maybe he can see how much I hate myself for what I’ve done, how much I wish I could take it all back.
But he doesn’t even look at me.
He steps past me without a single glance, and keeps walking—further into the locker room, further away from me.
I turn my head just enough to watch him go, my stomach twisting painfully, my heart cracking open inside my chest.
I knew this would happen. I hadknown.
But knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.
Chapter 19
Chase
I’m numb. I haveno words.
My world feels like it’s been turned inside out, the weight of Blake’s confession pressing down on my chest like a boulder, making it hard to breathe. I knew. I knew Blake had cheated. The knowledge of that sunk its claws into me the night I saw the marks on him, the hickeys. The proof of his infidelity was etched into his flesh like a cruel reminder. But hearing the details?Hearinghow it happened, how Blake let it happen—thatwas something else entirely. Then, to learn he’d told my brother the very same sordid details before me. That was another gut punch.
Now I’m trapped in this damn locker room with him, with nowhere to escape from him. I feel like I’m suffocating.
My boots scuff against the tile floor as I pace back and forth in the shower, the sound echoing against the walls. Back and forth, back and forth. I can’t stop moving, can’t stop the restless energy surging beneath my skin. Stopping would mean having to face the reality that was just thrown at me, and I can't do that. Not yet. My hands ache from clenching them into fists for so long, my nails digging into my palms, leaving perfectly shaped half-moon indentations. But the pain is the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
And then Blake speaks from behind me.
"I didn’t mean it when I said I wish that we didn’t happen."
My steps falter for a fraction of a second, but I keep my back to him, maintaining my stiff and unyielding shoulders.
"It was the happiest moment of my life. I never wanted you to know what happened that night. All the details. I thought pushing you away would be the easiest thing. It’s why I said that, but I hated every minute of it."
Blake sighs heavily, the sound thick with something I didn’t want to name. Regret. Guilt. Pain. It didn’t matter. Nothing he says will change what happened. That he cheated on me so easily.
"Then I saw you with Max, and I got jealous."
A bitter laugh claws its way up my throat, but I swallow it down. Of course.Jealousy. Like he had any goddamn right to be jealous after what he’d done.
"I handled this all wrong from the moment you expressed your desire to keep us a secret until now. I have your brother to thank for that. If it wasn’t for him, I never would’ve told you the truth. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."
