“Great, way to be a fucking dickhead, Jacob!” Ford barks as he kisses Dylan on the top of her head. “Who the fuck cares who shedates? Did you not think people would already be having their eyes on us being a throuple? You didn’t seem to care then.”
“Ford, come on man, you have to see the situation with her and Matthew is totally different.”
“How?” Dylan pulls away from Ford and glares at me. My gaze shoots to her red-rimmed, puffy eyes and her tear soaked cheeks.
“Because he’s going to be your brother!” My voice raises, not understanding what they don’t comprehend about this.
“Stepbrother!” she yells back at me. “As in not blood related, there’s nothing incestuous about it.”
“Still—” I start, but Ford cuts me off.
“No man, there’s no but. If you love Dylan as much as you say you do, you’ll find a way to deal with whatever hangup you have about Matthew.”
“I do love her. More than anyone in the world. She’s the woman I always knew I’d be with. I know I’m just a teenager but when I think about my future, I see Dylan by my side, along with our children,” I confess to them both.
“Then you need to decide what you’re going to do. Love her and the relationships we have individually with her and as a group, which includes Matthew, or let her go. It’s not a hard choice, but I’m not going to continue to let you upset her like this.”
“It’s just—”
“No, Jacob. There’s nothing controversial about her being with Matthew. First, is he going to be our coach?” Ford holds up his hands, ticking off his fingers as he goes through a list. “Yes, but Matthew has already cleared that, and if the school doesn’t have an issue with it, then who cares if people we don’t know do? Second, he’s going to be her stepbrother, no blood relation, so no issue. Three, you need to get over your hangups. Dylan has morethan proven there’s enough of her to go around. Do you ever feel slighted by her attention?”
“No, I haven’t,” I say softly.
“If it’s too much for you then I’ll try to ignore the feelings that I have. I love you, Jacob, and if it’s a choice between following through with how I feel about Matthew or losing you, then I’ll step away. I’ve lost you once. I can't do it again.”
My eyes go wide. She’d give up everything for me? Dylan would rather live unhappily to make me happy? I can’t let her do that.
Chapter 12
Dylan
I’m shaking, barely able to hold myself together. Ford’s arms around me are comforting, but it does nothing to stop the hurt in my chest. Jacob’s words cut deeper than I expected. How can he not see that this is real for me? That what I feel for Matthew isn’t wrong? It’s not some dirty taboo thing.
I pull away from Ford, needing space to think, to breathe. My mind is in chaos, emotions and thoughts crashing into each other. Jacob has always understood me, saw me for who I am. But now… now, it feels like he’s treating me like a stranger.
How can he be so upset about this? How can he not see that Matthew is more than my soon-to-be stepbrother to me. The fact that Ford can accept it so easily makes Jacob’s resistance even more painful. Ford’s cool about it, understanding in a way that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, this could work. But Jacob…
I can’t lose him. The thought of it makes my stomach churn, a sickening dread that tightens around my heart. But can I reallypush aside my feelings for Matthew? Can I pretend they don’t exist just to make Jacob happy? If I do that, won’t I just end up resenting him? Won’t I end up hating myself for not being true to what I feel?
I glance at Ford, his eyes soft and full of understanding. He doesn’t see Matthew as a threat, doesn’t feel like he’s losing a part of me to him. He’s confident in what we have, in what I feel for him. But Jacob… he’s so wrapped up in what people will think that he can’t see past it to what really matters.
Why is Ford so different? Why can he accept this when Jacob can’t? Is it because Ford has always been more open-minded—more willing to embrace the unconventional? Or is it because he trusts me more, trusts that my feelings for Matthew won’t change what I feel for him?
I wipe at my cheeks, the tears falling uncontrollably now. This isn’t what I wanted. I never wanted to hurt Jacob, to cause him pain. But I can’t ignore what I feel for Matthew or pretend that it doesn’t exist.
I take a deep breath to steady myself, trying to find the right words. But they don’t come. All I can think about is how Jacob looked at me, his eyes filled with disbelief and hurt. I know he loves me. And while I know he says he’s just trying to protect me, it feels more like he’s trying to protect himself.
My heart aches for him, for the boy who has loved me since we were kids, and dreamed of a future with me. But that future… it’s not as simple as it once was. It’s not just him and me anymore.
I open my eyes, staring at the ground, my vision blurred with tears. I’m so lost in my thoughts, so caught up in the what-ifs and maybes, that I don’t even notice they’re no long sitting beside me until Ford steps in front of me, his hand gently resting on my shoulder.
His voice cuts through my thoughts, soft and steady. “Dylan, you don’t have to make a decision right now. We’ll figure this out together, okay?”
I do have to make a decision, but it’s not just about Matthew. It’s about Jacob, Ford, everything I’ve ever known, and everything I’m terrified of losing.
Jacob steps up beside him, his hands gently cupping my cheeks, grounding me. His eyes search mine, full of fear and love, and it breaks my heart to see him like this. “I don’t want to hurt you, Pickle,” he whispers. “This is a lot for me, too. I barely survived when I thought you chose Ford over me. Now we share, and I love it. But he’s my best friend. I don’t know Matthew, except that he’s been a dick to you.”
Ford speaks up through gritted teeth. “He explained that to Kitty, and if she forgives him, we have to as well. It’s not our place to hold a grudge if she doesn’t.”
