I can’t handle this right now. If CSU doesn’t take me on a scholarship, how will I go to school? I could apply for financial aid or a loan, but I’m pretty sure I have to give them my parents’ tax information and my mom is not going to just hand that out.
“I have a lot to think about, and I need a moment to breathe and some space to process everything. So if you could, please go.” I say as I nod toward the door.
“Dylan...” He stands and hesitates for a moment, but turns and leaves. I watch his back as he goes, shutting the door.
I fall back on my bed, letting my arms fan out and sigh.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” I ask outloud, staring at the ceiling.
I’ve been hit with so much since Saturday. How did everything spiral out of control so quickly? One minute, I’m just trying to make the boys’ lacrosse team, and the next, my life is a soap opera.
Getting up, I take off my clothes and climb under the sheet in just my panties. Tomorrow, I’ll start to weed through the mess that is my life. For now, I just want to sleep, maybe in my dreams I’ll find some semblance of peace.
Lying there in the dark, I try to calm my racing thoughts. The room is quiet, save for the occasional creak of the house settling. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to ground myself.
I think back to the moment Matthew kissed me. It was so unexpected, so out of the blue. My initial reaction was shock, but there was something else there, too. Something I haven’t fully processed. His lips were warm and soft, and for a split second, I allowed myself to feel something. But what was it? Attraction? Curiosity? Or just the thrill?
My thoughts drift to Jacob and Ford. They’ve been my rocks, my constants. Jacob, with his steady, dependable nature, always knowing how to make me laugh. Ford, with his wild spirit and adventurous heart, pushing me to be more than I ever thought I could be. They balance each other out perfectly, and together, they make me feel whole. How could I ever mess with that?
And then there’s Matthew. Annoying, judgmental, but undeniably attractive. I never allowed myself to consider him as anything more than an asshole. But now? Now I have to confront the fact that there’s something there. Something real. How can I navigate this new realization without hurting the people I care about?
Ford and Jacob know about Matthew’s feelings, and obviously, they saw the kiss. But that doesn’t mean they're ready to share with someone else. Share me with my future stepbrother.
What about what he said about my mom? What does she know? She was so angry and frustrated earlier. It’s a stark contrast to the woman she used to be. When did she become so obsessed with appearances? So controlling and harsh? It’s like she’s living in this bubble of her own making, completely disconnected from reality.
She used to be fun, carefree, someone I could talk to about anything. But now, every interaction feels like a battle. She’s so focused on how others perceive us that she’s forgotten what really matters. The love, the support, the understanding. It’s exhausting trying to live up to her impossible standards.
Then there’s the matter of my old school. What did she tell Matthew’s dad? What dark secrets from my past is she threatening to unveil? My stomach churns at the thought. I can’t let Matthew know. I can’t let anyone know. That part of my life is buried for a reason, and I intend to keep it that way.
As I lie there, the weight of everything presses down on me. It’s all too much. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away. Crying won’t solve anything. I need to be strong. I need to figure this out.
Eventually, exhaustion takes over, and I drift off to sleep.
Chapter 8
Matthew
My mind is still reeling from the talk with Dylan last night. She didn’t outright say she didn’t have feelings for me and admitted to kissing me back. But then she made it clear—she’s committed to Ford and Jacob. Her loyalty is admirable and only makes me want her more.
Could I share, though?
I’ve never been in this situation before. Sure, I partied in college, but I never had the wild sex life some of my teammates boasted about.
Could I handle seeing her with someone else? Would jealousy consume me? Sharing her with two younger guys—could I do that?
The age gap between us doesn’t bother me, but when I think about those other two, I feel like the odd man out. The old guy in the group.
Group?
I’m not even part of their little ménage à trois, but… I think I want to be.
First things first, I need to call Coach Woosley at CSU and update him on the discovery of Murphy being female. With him being interested in all three of them, I should probably get that out of the way.
Sitting at my desk in my room, I lean back in my chair and set my phone on my chest, letting it ring on speaker.
Finally, on the fourth ring, he answers.
“Dawson! Man, I thought you got lost in that hometown of yours. What’s going on?”
