I sit down first, opting to take the chair so I can sit alone. I know the minute one of them touches me, I’ll forget everything I want to say and let my hormones take over. They sit down on the couch facing me, and I’m taken aback by the tranquility surrounding them. While they take their turns calling each other names, they seem at ease being together, as if they’ve formed a new comradery.
“I feel like I’m in the twilight zone.” It’s not until I hear my own voice do I realize I said it out loud.
“How so?” Earl asks.
“Just the two of you sitting there, beside each other, not bickering. It’s weird,” I blurt.
“I told you, Mels, we have an understanding.” Jax smiles widely.
I look up at the ceiling, imagining I can see through it with X-ray vision to check if the sky is falling. All I can do is offer up a small prayer that the two men who hold the keys to my heart are getting along for the first time since they laid eyes on each other.
“Is it going to last long term or is it just a phase? Because I don’t want to go further for this to all turn to crap because the two of you are always fighting.” Each word comes out clearly and with conviction as I give them a stern gaze. They need to know I mean what I say.
“Mels, while I can’t say we won’t have playful banter, we solemnly promise to become the best brother husbands out there.” He turns his head to look at Earl, who nods in agreement.
“Brother husbands? We’re not married.” My eyes widen.
“Yeah, Mel, we got it all figured out. You’re my ol’ lady and his wife. I don’t need no fancy-schmancy paper. You’re mine.” Myeyes water at Earl’s words. I’ve never felt more loved than I do at this moment.
“I love both of you. But there’s something else,” I pause, taking a deep breath.
“What baby? What else is there?” Jax scoots forward on the couch, placing his hands on his thighs.
“Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.” Earl’s bold voice fills the room.
“I want to respond to my son, to have him in my life if he wants to know me.”
“Then let’s contact him. He’s gonna be our boy, too. Havin’ Ashlynn made me realize I want more kids, so your boy is mine.”
“Ours!” Jax adds on at the end, sending them both into laughter.
“Okay, I’m going to message him and see if he wants the same.” I stand slowly and move over, sitting down on the couch between my two men. I’m going to need their support to keep me strong. I scroll through my phone to the message he sent and begin to type.
Me: I’m sorry it took me a while to respond. There’s a lot about my past and why I had to give you up. I never wanted to, but I had to keep you safe.
I sit and wait, gripping the phone so tight my knuckles turn white. None of us say a word and after a few minutes, I start to lose hope.
“He’s not going to message back.” My words are soft as I blow out a breath. He’s probably mad at me for taking so long to answer.
“Babe, he may be busy. You can’t give up hope.” Earl takes hold of my chin between his fingers and turns my face toward him, kissing me softly. “He’s a fool if he doesn’t want to meet the beautiful woman who gave him life.”
It takes a moment for my mind to process my phone vibrating. A subtle, persistent buzz resonates in the palm of my hand.
Unknown: Sorry, I was driving when you messaged and I had to pull over.
Me: Okay.
I pause for a minute, then awkwardly add—
Me: I’m glad you’re being safe. Is it possible to see you face to face? I have so much to tell you.
Unknown: I’m already on my way to you. I’ll be there tomorrow.
Me: You’re coming here?
Unknown: I am. I had to see you even if you didn’t want to see me.
I hold the phone tight to my chest as I begin to sob. Today has been an overwhelming ride of emotions and I can’t hold in my feelings any longer. My son wants to see me. He’s coming to me. I never imagined I’d see his face in my lifetime, but I am.
