Something that’s mine too.
Something that’s ours.
Always.
‘Axel?’
I turn, expecting to see her alone, but she’s not. Lottie’s tucked into her side, Dino clutched beneath her chin. And for a second, I’m living a different life: one with a wife, a child, a family.
Things I’ve never dared dream of.
And I don’t dare now.
‘She wants you to tuck her in.’
Shewhat?
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. I look at Lottie, who just blinks up at me.
‘She does?’
Lottie’s arms open in answer, her body leaning towards me, and I have to fight the ridiculous urge to step back.
‘If that’s okay?’ Tay says, struggling to keep Lottie balanced when I don’t move fast enough. ‘Axel?’
My voice refuses to come as I step forward, hands slow to act now there’s no music or dancing or teasing to hide behind.
The kid folds into me, small and warm, all trust and sleepy vulnerability.
Taylor’s gaze meets mine, her eyes as soft as her smile. She doesn’t say anything, thank fuck. Just turns and leads the way back inside, through the bathroom, into the adjoining bedroom made up into a twin. She pulls back the quilt on one bed and steps aside.
I lay Lottie down and the kid clings to my neck.
‘Night night, Uncle G.’
Before I can release her, she presses a kiss to my cheek and I freeze, a spasm of something tearing though me. I’ve never, not once, been kissed like that. The briefest, softest of pecks. The most innocent of gestures.
It digs in, claws at my gut, bites at my eyes: the tiny show of affection hitting somewhere I didn’t know still existed.
It takes Taylor lifting the quilt to make me move, and I take over. With fingers that feel too big, too clumsy, I tuck it beneath Dino’s chin and smooth the edge.
‘Night, kid.’
Taylor leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to Lottie’s forehead as I back away, stunned by how something so small could hit so hard.
‘Night night, darling,’ she murmurs. ‘You know where I am if you need me.’
Lottie gives a sleepy nod, rolling over with Dino still clutched tight.
‘You okay?’ Taylor asks, joining me on the threshold, her astute eyes narrowed, too sharp, too aware.
No, I ain’t. Nowhere near.
But I nod anyway.
Because that’s what I do.
She eases the door shut behind us and the quiet that follows presses in, squeezing behind my ribs.
