Something primal detonates in my gut.
Something dangerous.
Something I should never, ever feed.
This was supposed to be simple. A deal. A line. A purpose.
But there’s no switch to flick now, no way to go back. She’sin my system like a drug and I already know withdrawal’s gonna kill me.
‘You should go,’ I force out, reaching to untie the belt.
She stiffens. I don’t have to see her face to know I’ve hurt her.
‘But I thought…’
‘You thought what, Tay?’ I force myself to meet her gaze, let the cold in mine do its job even if it feels like tearing skin. ‘That we’d fuck and then lie here whispering sweet shit ’till sunrise? That how you usually roll?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. No. But?—’
‘Good. Then you know the drill. Keep it about the sex, and part ways. Come back as friends. And go again. No blurred lines.’
Because if I blur them, I won’t survive the day she walks away.
I know that, even if she doesn’t.
Her wrists slip free and she scrambles up the bed, tugging the sheet to her chest. And I can’t help the twisted smile that curls my lips.
‘Bit late for modesty, don’t you think?’
‘Not when you’re lecturing me about how we keep thingsnormalbetween us.’
She has a point, but…
‘You really think getting cosy after is a good idea?’
I stand, bare, unbothered, her need mixed with mine, still coating my semi-hard state that thickens as her eyes dip, appreciation warming her depths as a flush creeps back into her cheeks. Colour I’m glad of, even if she ain’t.
‘Unless you wanna go round two,’ I tease, only half-joking. ‘Or would that be three for you?’
Her chin snaps up, eyes shooting sparks.
‘Funny, Ax. Real funny.’
I laugh, though nothing about this is funny. Not by a long shot.
‘I’m hitting the shower. Take all the privacy you need and see yourself out.’
‘Jesus… is that how you treat all your women?’
‘I don’t know, Tay. Is that how you treat yours?’
Because I’m more than aware of her track record with both sexes. Painfully so.
I let the jab land, her stunned stare giving me an ugly flicker of satisfaction as I turn and walk.
And yes, my reputation is just as bad, but mine is built on this, on her, trying to fuck my way free of the hold she’s had over me since forever. Not that it’s ever worked.
Maybe fucking my way through it will work instead.
