I’m doing exactly what she said.
Sticking to what feels good.
And right now, that’s her.
Every which way she fits.
19
AXEL
I’m grinding my teeth in Taylor’s private elevator, counting down the seconds – sod the floors – until it hits the top.
These things are meant to glide. This one’s been getting slower every damn visit.
It’s been two weeks since I last saw her – work dragging me to the States, hers bouncing her all over Europe. Every time we lined something up, life got in the way.
It’s our longest stretch apart since we decided boundaries were optional.
Two months of doingwhat feels good,and it still feels pretty damn good.
If I wasn’t hauling enough groceries to soothe an army of hormonal Taylors, I’d have taken the stairs. Fifty flights. Easy.
Her period’s hit again. Four months of trying, and nothing.
She puts on a brave face, but Iknowit’s getting to her.
Don’t get me wrong, the sex is so right. Too right. But that’s not the point. The baby is. And Taylor is the most impatient woman I know, especially when it comes to getting what she wants, when she wants it.
Trust me. I’ve been on the receiving end of that woman’s desire plenty enough now to attest from experience.
And yeah… I’m conflicted as fuck.
I don’t want this to end.
But I do want her to get what she so desperately wants.
And what about you? You still pretending you don’t want it too?
That voice hasn’t shut up since Danny blew everything wide open.
So fine. I’ll own it.
I want her to have my kid.
I want a future where they exist – where something good came out of the mess I’m made of. Where I get to watch them grow, knowing we did that, that they’re ours.
Even if…
Even if we don’t.
Because we don’t have a future.
That one line remains, and it’ll stay.
I don’t get to drag my wreckage into the happy home she wants to build. But I do get to stand on the outskirts, looking in.
And that’s enough. It has to be.
