“It is not like that. I came here to hide, and Alaric happened to find me, and he was just about to leave when I heard Fiona, and I had no wish to be caught and…” Catherine trailed off as she remembered the way she had pulled Alaric toward her, the way his body had felt.
Her ears burned as if his arms were still around her. Her stomach twisted and churned.
“Of course, it was completely innocent.” Fiona rolled her eyes. “That is why your cheeks are so red they would put roses to shame.”
“They are not!” Catherine rubbed her cheeks self-consciously. “Well, maybe a little.”
“You do not have to be shy, Kitty.” Louisa gently nudged her. “You would not be the first woman to go weak at the knees for a tall, dashing man.”
“I am not… I... it is not like that! This is a marriage in name only; that is all there is to it.” Catherine shook her head. “I am not even going to stay here.”
“Why not?” Harriet asked. “You seem perfectly content to me. In truth, I am not sure I have ever seen you so confident or happy.”
“And you always say that you would rather live in the countryside than in the city,” Fiona added. “You could stay here with Oliver and the Duke.”
“That was not the agreement. We...”
“Kitty, with all due respect, the man who made that agreement with you does not seem like the same man we have met today.” Louisa frowned.
“And that is the problem. I have no idea if this is the real Alaric or just some product of the accident!” Catherine’s voice rose, and she took a deep breath, forcing herself to speak more quietly. “There is every chance that he will get his memories back and return to the man he was. And then...”
“He might not.” Harriet took her hand and gently squeezed it. “Perhaps thisisthe real man.”
Catherine closed her eyes. “I cannot take that risk.”
“Cannot or will not?” Fiona asked.
“It does not matter. Either way, I have made up my mind.” Catherine sighed. “Besides, even if I wanted to stay, which I do not, he has not even asked me. If he had wanted me here, he would have told me.”
She tried to keep her voice light as if she did not really care, but as the words left her lips, a dagger twisted in her chest. He had not asked her to stay; hewould notask her to stay.
And even though she would not admit it to her friends, Catherine wanted him to.
CHAPTER 20
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Catherine asked for the hundredth time, twisting her hands in her lap.
Alaric leaned back in his seat in the carriage. He felt a prick on the back of his neck, but he pushed it aside.I have checked everything myself three times. Nothing will happen.He looked at Catherine, and his stomach twisted.
Her midnight blue ballgown draped over her like the night sky. The moonlight reflected on the silver embroidery as the carriage moved, and the gentle sway made the sapphires in her earrings sparkle.
The delicate necklace she wore drew his attention to her pale skin; his eyes traveled to her face, framed by two artfully placed curls.
She looks like a goddess.
“We need to address these rumors, Catherine.” Alaric’s voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat. “The longer we are out of the public eye, the worse it will be. This ball is the perfect way of re-entering society.”
Catherine tapped her fingers on the carriage seat beside her. “But what about Oliver? And your memories?”
“I will have you to fill in any gaps, and Oliver will be fine. He has Mrs. Langley to look after him, and we will only be away for the evening. The whole point of a governess was to enable you to do more in your life. I thought this was what you wanted.” Alaric gestured to Catherine, taking care to keep his voice neutral.
You want to leave.
His heart twisted at the thought, but he kept it from his face. In front of him, Catherine sighed. “I know, but… I have never been very good at balls.”
“I find that difficult to believe.” Alaric frowned.
“You think too highly of me, Alaric.” Catherine’s fingers twitched, and she looked out of the window. “In truth, I always felt at sea whenever I was at a ball. I might get asked to dance once or twice, and that was enjoyable, but outside of that… It was all so overwhelming. And it always felt like they were simply waiting for me to make a mistake.”
